I am so stressed about the dance.. Normally rehearsals are fun events I look forward to attending cuz you get to play around and try out your dance and check out the other performances and all.. I have always loved rehearsals.. Somehow this time, I'm having butterflies.. The dances are scaring me.. I'm so worried about the kids and more than that, I'm worried about how good our memory is going to be with regards to remembering our own steps.. And the other dance, we haven't done it properly with all 6 of us yet.. So that's a muddle too.. Haiz.. And have I mentioned the costume? Lol.. After designing so much and stuff, I tried it on yesterday and I look like a sack of potatoes.. Seriously.. It's soooo terrible.. Sai is yet to be shocked.. But then again, that girl looks good in everything..
I'm happier today.. Firstly, it's Friday.. Which means the working week is over for everyone else.. Which means someone is coming home soon.. :) And another reason being something else which I shall not mention.. I'm just glad I went online in the afternoon yesterday, that's all.. :)
Met Bhavani yesterday on our way to pick costumes.. And I must say, she is quite lost when it comes to addresses as well.. Haha.. Thanks, babe.. Thanks for making us walk all over Bishan and eventually end up takin a cab to the guy's house.. I don't understand why he lives in such an ulu place.. And the neighbour's dog... My goodness!! I almost jumped out of my skin.. Anyway it was really nice meeting up with her yesterday after a long while and walking around AMK with my torn paper bag and having a simple dinner and catching up on everything that's been happening.. Missed ya babe.. Seeya later at the rehearsals.. :)
Just mailed the graduation forms to let them know I'm not attending the function.. Really can't be bothered to also.. Still got a mountain of forms to fill before Monday morning.. Haiz.. It's pretty depressing actually, considering the possibility o not being able to attend many functions and parties anymore thanks to the weekend shift involved.. I would even probably miss Neelu's party that I'm supposed to help to organise.. :(
Anyway got to go packing things up before I leave for tuition.. Got a long day ahead.. Ciao!!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Multiple Emotions
You know how it is when people sometimes undermine the credibility of those around them and tend to overestimate their own intelligence.. They get so caught up in gloating over their 'so-called' upper hand over the situation that they fail to realise that sometimes the quieter ones tend to overtake them with their reasoning, and reality smacks them really hard on the face when they find out that all along they have been living in a state of delusion trying to be smarter than the others and praying for the downfall of the rest.. Well, all I have to say is, I hope your steady enough to take the blow when it comes.. I will pray for you.. Never thought there would come a day when I type out such an entry.. But well, right now, I can't help it.. Oh well..
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Your only friend
You know how sometimes you feel like you're all alone? I mean, you do have people around you and all, but you feel this certain emptiness within? Something you can't explain.. You try to pull back from those close to you cuz you fear hurting them.. Yet you miss them not being around .. You cannot blame circumstances or fate for the way things turn out, cuz you know that ultimately these things could't be helped..
And then there are the those whom you feel misunderstand your actions.. Those whom you felt that you could trust the most, those you always knew would understand you the most, those you expected to know why you did each thing you did.. These people when they misunderstand you or resort to trusting their gut feelings and assumptions rather than talking it out with you.. Nothing beats the feeling of that disappointment felt and you just decide to move away cuz you know the trust that you believed in, no longer remains..
Then there are the few that do things unconsciously with no intention of hurting you.. Yet you can't help but wish they would for a while, just stop and think about what they are doing and how that may affect you..That they would be a little more sensitive to your feelings..
And then the few who never let you know what they are thinking.. Who choose to keep you in the dark about what goes on in their minds and just expect you to follow.. You follow blindly, just trusting them and trusting that they wouldn't let you fall eventually.. But would they?
And then the ones who move away cuz they feel they will hurt you by being near.. These ones I wish would just talk it out instead of deciding the path themselves..
And then the many you don't hear from or see around as the days go by and then you start to realise that things will never be the same.. The days you remember fondly will be nothing more than a memory, one that you can only look back upon and never have again..
Sometimes all you have is yourself..
And then there are the those whom you feel misunderstand your actions.. Those whom you felt that you could trust the most, those you always knew would understand you the most, those you expected to know why you did each thing you did.. These people when they misunderstand you or resort to trusting their gut feelings and assumptions rather than talking it out with you.. Nothing beats the feeling of that disappointment felt and you just decide to move away cuz you know the trust that you believed in, no longer remains..
Then there are the few that do things unconsciously with no intention of hurting you.. Yet you can't help but wish they would for a while, just stop and think about what they are doing and how that may affect you..That they would be a little more sensitive to your feelings..
And then the few who never let you know what they are thinking.. Who choose to keep you in the dark about what goes on in their minds and just expect you to follow.. You follow blindly, just trusting them and trusting that they wouldn't let you fall eventually.. But would they?
And then the ones who move away cuz they feel they will hurt you by being near.. These ones I wish would just talk it out instead of deciding the path themselves..
And then the many you don't hear from or see around as the days go by and then you start to realise that things will never be the same.. The days you remember fondly will be nothing more than a memory, one that you can only look back upon and never have again..
Sometimes all you have is yourself..
Fur Trade Cruelty
A video on animal cruelty targeting at the fur trade.. I couldn't complete watching it.. It's really cruel and the part where the skinned raccoon turns its head towards the camera really is painful.. Please discourage the fur trade.. Watch the video and you'll know why..
Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org
Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Budhia
This was a documentary I caught yesterday and I was really disturbed by it. It focuses on a 4year old boy, 4 YEAR OLD who is being trained for marathons.. When I saw him lacing up his tiny running shoes and saw him sleeping in the jeep before his run, saw the way he put his food into the mouth, the way his head swayed side to side as he ran, all that came to mind was my 5 year old cousin.. So young.. So innocent.. I felt so sorry for this kid..
Budhia was born in the slums, the youngest of 4 kids and his mum had sold him off to a peddlar in return for cash to support the kids and her family.. He was abused by the peddlar at such a young age.. He used to get stoned after the guy came back drunk and he managed to get into the hands of Baranchi, who now claims to be his guardian..
Watching the video, I can't help but doubt Baranchi's genuine interest in the child's welfare.. I can't help but wonder if Baranchi would have treated his own child this way, whether he would have put his own son through such rigorous training and harsh conditions.. And when asked if he was worried that these methods of training could have severe impacts on such a young boy, he responded saying that if Budhia were to die, he would die a martyr, doing something proper.. How can you say something like that? I don't know.. This could just be my side of the issue, but I was just really disturbed..
I can't seem to find the final part of the documentary though, where Baranchi makes Budhia run in a 70km record breaking marathon under sweltering heat.. Where you see the poor kid dehydrated and exhausted halfway through the race, yet Baranchi refuses to give him a drop of water and instead lures him with the water bottle suspended above him to make him run.. Finally at 67km, after seven hours, the child just stops and his head rolls back, his eyes start to close and he starts having fits and throws up.. I thought the child would die.. Yet, after just an hour, Baranchi takes him back to collect his medal and meet the press and media and insists that the boy will still run in the future despite what healthcare officials have to say..
I just think it's really disturbing.. subjecting a small kid to so much pressure, adding muscle building protein and raw glucose to his diet at this age, and ultimately acknowledging the possibility that Budhia could die one day this way.. I just think it's cruel..
Budhia was born in the slums, the youngest of 4 kids and his mum had sold him off to a peddlar in return for cash to support the kids and her family.. He was abused by the peddlar at such a young age.. He used to get stoned after the guy came back drunk and he managed to get into the hands of Baranchi, who now claims to be his guardian..
Watching the video, I can't help but doubt Baranchi's genuine interest in the child's welfare.. I can't help but wonder if Baranchi would have treated his own child this way, whether he would have put his own son through such rigorous training and harsh conditions.. And when asked if he was worried that these methods of training could have severe impacts on such a young boy, he responded saying that if Budhia were to die, he would die a martyr, doing something proper.. How can you say something like that? I don't know.. This could just be my side of the issue, but I was just really disturbed..
I can't seem to find the final part of the documentary though, where Baranchi makes Budhia run in a 70km record breaking marathon under sweltering heat.. Where you see the poor kid dehydrated and exhausted halfway through the race, yet Baranchi refuses to give him a drop of water and instead lures him with the water bottle suspended above him to make him run.. Finally at 67km, after seven hours, the child just stops and his head rolls back, his eyes start to close and he starts having fits and throws up.. I thought the child would die.. Yet, after just an hour, Baranchi takes him back to collect his medal and meet the press and media and insists that the boy will still run in the future despite what healthcare officials have to say..
I just think it's really disturbing.. subjecting a small kid to so much pressure, adding muscle building protein and raw glucose to his diet at this age, and ultimately acknowledging the possibility that Budhia could die one day this way.. I just think it's cruel..
Sunday, March 2, 2008
*grin*
I'm much much happier now.. Thanks to conversations with two of you...
One who is willing to go out of your way to make my day and another who is willing to try to make an effort to make me smile.. Thank you, both of you..
*fingers crossed*
One who is willing to go out of your way to make my day and another who is willing to try to make an effort to make me smile.. Thank you, both of you..
*fingers crossed*
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Last Lecture by Dr Randy Pausch
This was something that moved me. His final lecture after knowing he has not much time to live, really tugged at something and shows his positive spirit and really pushes his message across.. Pursuing your dreams...
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