My Baby

Time : 11.00a.m.
"Rashmi Chechi, are you coming here now?"
"No Molu, I'll come a bit later.. I don't feel too good.."
"But Rashmi Chechi, I am leaving for school at 11.30... Will you be here when I come back?"
"I have to leave your house at 6.00pm"
"But why? I'll only come home at 7.30!!"
"No da, I have to go for a job fair. That's why"
"Must you really go? Is it compulsory?"
"Yes it is, molu.. Why? Did you miss me?"
She giggles."Then can I see you tomorrow?"
"I'll definitely see you somehow before the week ends, okay?"
"Ok."

That was the sweetest conversations I had with her in months.. Really missed that kid.. Vaarsha never fails to make me smile.. After that extremely painful night I had rolling around in bed and almost fainting on my kitchen floor, and listening to my mum lecturing me about my habits of swallowing panadol extra without eating properly first, this was such a welcome conversation.. That is one kid I adore to tiny tiny bits.

From two to one

I'm happy and sad at the same time.. Happy cuz of the way you are around me... Sad cuz of the same reason as well.. Everything happens for a reason, right? Right.

Ramona just got engaged a few days back and is getting married in June.. So fast! But I'm so happy for her.. After all the heartache and tears and everything, Im so glad it all worked out the way she dreamt it would.. Feels so strange seeing her single one minute and the next, I see her engagement pictures on Facebook. Can't wait for her to come back and fill us in on all the details.. :) It's so exciting seeing your friends getting engaged or married and planning stuff.. Benita and I were just talking about it, envying Ramona for managing to overcome all obstacles she faced along the way and ending up with her true love.. It's so beautiful.. That smile on her face.. That glow around her.. So pretty.. And the way that Dean was looking at her in the pictures.. Can see that he adores her.. So sweet..

It's strange I suppose.. Getting engaged... Having someone else in your life.. Sharing your life with another person.. It's no more a 'me' or 'I' thing but more of an 'us'.. Making decisions wouldn't be as easy cuz there is another person to think about.. Responsibilities kick in.. Changes in your lifestyle.. Lots of adjustments and sacrifices would come in, in terms of managing finances, going out, habits etc.. But I guess that's also the nice part.. The change.. The effect that someone else is going to have in your life.. The things you would learn along the way.. Being able to have an impact on another person.. Being able to care for someone.. Having someone there for you.. Having someone to lean on, to trust, to cry to, to laugh with, to complain to, to annoy, to love, to cherish, to be totally idiotic around and not feel stupid, to spend quiet moments with, to fight with, to share everything with and know for a fact they would always care and stick by you.. I guess that makes it all worthwhile.. Provided you meet the right one... :)

All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different... Something to think about..

smiling inside

You made me really happy today..
Gave me that feeling inside that makes you wanna just keep smiling to yourself.. Thanks :)
After a long, long while, it really felt nice.. But it's also sad knowing it's not to last..
Thank you for saying what you did a few hours ago.. Something I would fondly remember. :)

Sent from Above

I have always believed that I was blessed in the form of the friends that I have made throughout my school days and stuff.. It's true that I some friendships come and go and some last but end of the day, each one of my friends has never failed to amaze me with their affection and concern..

I have blogged several times about this friend who did this and that friend who did that.. One example would be about Sai and Vic's surprise for me with the chocolates when I was upset about taking the wrong shopping bag home.. Another one would be how my friends check up on me or stay on the phone when Im upset and stuff.. Almost everyday I feel so glad knowing that despite the problems I may face or the pains that come along the way, there is one thing I'd always be thankful for.. My friends..

And here is another entry to show my gratitude to 2 people in particular who made me smile in these two days.. One would be Vic and the other would be Vas.. Two angels.. Truly..

Vic did the most amazing thing.. She has very high patience level and a very strong passion for helping people I think.. I had this application form to fill that I couldn't do from home.. So I called Vic to help me do it and it was the most tedious, annoying, lengthy application I have ever come across. Seriously. It required so much information- each module taken, each grade, each CCA, the date joined( inclusive of exact day) and so on.. We took about two hours on it and this darling never got annoyed or complained.. true, she was whining each time a new page appeared to fill but she really patiently read each thing out and filled up all the blanks for me.. babe, I am seriously touched.. thank you..

Now, for Vas.. This girl meets me at Woodlands and goes to Causeway Point with me and listens to all my whining firstly.. Then she peels my prawns for me although she is vegetarian, just cause I have issues peeling them.. Then she walks around for a bit and then sees these earrings with crystals on them and stops.. She keeps asking my opinion on them and I keep telling her they are too costly.. Come on, twenty bucks per pair.. Then she asks me to pick a colour and I choose the green cuz I think it's really pretty. She says okay and she buys it while I disapprove of the price and refuse to buy anything cuz I'm super broke.. Suddenly she hands me the package and tells me it's for me.. Just like that. So sweet. And she waited for the bus with me and realising how late we were and not managing to get a bus, she took out some cash, stuffed it into my hands and told me to take a cab home, cuz she knew i was in deep trouble otherwise.. I was so amazed.. Thank you for being such a sweetheart..

My friends are seriously angels sent from above.. Truly..

Confusions

I'm very very confused. How can one person be so completely different on two separate occasions? How can you make me feel so at ease with you one moment and so restless around you the next? I don't seem to understand. In fact, right now I think I'm more afraid and cautious. I'm afraid of getting hurt. Really. Haiz. To all of you who called or messaged me after reading my blog entry, thank you so much. You guys made me feel so loved. Especially the ones who spent their precious time at work and camp and all to call me and just listen to me and comfort me. Also to you, who followed me that day when I was upset. Thank you. You guys really made a difference. All of you :) I guess these are the times you know who are the ones who genuinely care and stand by you.. I think I know now. And I'm glad. *hugz*

Never

You were right all along.. I was too naive...

I never was... Never am.. And never will be...

It's a very very depressing day... Never cried so much.. Never felt so miserable for a long, long time.. What wrong did I do? I never will know..

Oops!

This is a really embarrassing situation caught on tape... Haiz... Depressing :)