23rd

Yesterday was possibly the most beautiful day ever.. Felt so loved and happy all day...
I thought I was going to die after Friday evening's rehearsals and the drive back home and all.. And I was so scared something was bound to go wrong yesterday with the dances as well.. But I couldn't have asked for anything better and I wouldn't have wanted it any different, except maybe the un-glam moments in the morning.. Haha

I went to sleep on Friday night after all the wishes and all and suddenly woke up to someone saying 'Rashmi, Happy Birthday'.. I woke up to stare at Vasaantha's and Sasi's face.. I was so stunned that I couldn't register what they were holding in their hand.. I mistook the little cake for a jewellery box and had to look at it for a while first before realising.. Then Vas told me to go wash up and I obediently listened.. When I came out of the toilet, I was met with the sight of Vic scampering around in my room and I was more confused and then Bhavani popped out with a cake and led me to the living room.. Then I saw Anan and Vjay join the group.. I was really really surprised.. I mean these people set alarms at 4.30am to wake up and get me my McDonald's breakfast that I was craving for for the last few months and get the cake and turn up under my block and coordinate the plans with my mum.. Seriously.. I was really touched.. Thank you guys..

After Bhavani and the boys left to catch some sleep, the girls and I were slacking around, chit-chatting and snapping more unglamorous shots.. I was just glad that I was decently dressed when I went to bed on Friday night.. I cannot imagine the embarrassment if I wasn't.. But still my 'just-out-of-bed' look is quite disturbing.. Please girls, next time, a little more warning.. haha

Then I got the shock for the day.. Went to Sunplaza to get a little something for the little kids and met Vimal there who said I would need his gift during the show.. He was sweet enough to actually turn up in pink.. :) But the present... I still think your mad.. Really.. Just be glad you weren't in front of me when I opened it.. This way, you only got me demanding answers over the phone.. And although I was honestly really touched by it to think about what I would like to get sometime and all, I still think your crazy.. Really.. Don't try to convince me otherwise.. not working.

We rushed down to DBS, late as usual.. Practised our dance once.. Forgot the kids' umbrellas, ran around the changing room asking aunties for umbrellas.. Managed to settle everything.. got into costumes that left us looking like sacks of potatoes.. ended up looking like village girls gone wrong and finally did our dance.. Poor Priya did so well with her sprained neck.. And Im so relieved that dance had no screw ups like I feared.. I got a birthday kiss from each little kid and I was rushed off to change for the next item.. The Daandiya was really fun.. We were all playing on stage and having fun.. Preeti and I were practically laughing throughout.. And we pulled it off :) .. I was so glad that it went well.. Anan proved to be such an angel to come in last minute and learn that whole piece in a day and pull off the whole thing.. Really really good..

After everything, we all just hung around outside the audi talking.. met Divyah chechi, Geeta and Sailesh.. Saw the little 'R' pendant they got me.. So sweet.. Was nice seeing them all there.. Then Bhavani turned up and came to talk.. I was so caught up in conversation with these people that I didn't realise what was happening behind.. I was stunned when I heard people singing Happy Birthday and turned to see a cake lit up for me.. I was so shocked.. Suchitra aunty actually took the trouble amidst the rush to bake me a cake.. I was soo touched.. And the cake was just amazing.. Really really sweet of her..

Then these people actually got my mum's permission to take me out after the show for dinner and promised her that I won't be late.. We all headed down to Chomp Chomp at 11 or so and had dinner.. It was beautiful.. Surrounded by people you adore, just sitting down casually and sharing food and drinks.. Nothing beats that feeling.. I feel truly blessed and lucky..

Thank you so much guys..

Thank you guys for this really memorable surprise.. I am so touched and you guys really made my day.. For all the wishes, all the love and all the efforts.. For losing sleep and driving me around.. For taking time.. For the way you guys did it all.. For assuring my mum.. For coordinating everything.. And all of you who danced, thank you for that as well.. The weekly practises are memories worth cherishing on their own.. Vic darling, I know you took a lot of trouble getting through my mum with my ever-engaged line.. Thank you baby.. I know you were having exams and all.. But you still took the effort.. I appreciate it.. Meant a lot.. And Vas and Sasi, you guys actually woke up early and came over with that tiny cake and even had to walk to that ulu Mac near your place.. Thank you.. Sai and Preeti.. You guys really made my day throughout the time at the audi, dressing and applying make-up and laughing and joking together.. Thank you.. Vjay, Anan and Bhavani for driving down so early from NTU and Woodlands.. For taking the effort and losing sleep, for the dinner pland, for the vouchers and for being such sweethearts.. Thank you.. Menuri, for the sweet gesture and for helping out at the show.. Divyah Chechi, Geeta, Sailesh and Gehe for actually coming down for the show.. Vicknesh for shocking me out of my wits with your rendition of 'All the raindrops'... Selva, for the sweet message that touched me early in the morning, Vimal for traumatising me with your extremely thoughtful gift, the spongebob drawing and coming down for the show and being stuck in the awkward moments after the show.. Suchitra Aunty for so sweetly baking a cake amidst the rush..Ganesh for almost missing my birthday.. Haha, but it was sweet.. Vijay for the e-mail and smses and the birthday song.. I was truly touched, thank you.. And Sudhir for calling from the causeway..That was totally unexpected.. All you guys, love ya loads.. And all the others who smsed and called.. Love ya all.. My 23rd was truly special thanks to all of you.. ***BIG wet kiss***

Rehearsals

I am so stressed about the dance.. Normally rehearsals are fun events I look forward to attending cuz you get to play around and try out your dance and check out the other performances and all.. I have always loved rehearsals.. Somehow this time, I'm having butterflies.. The dances are scaring me.. I'm so worried about the kids and more than that, I'm worried about how good our memory is going to be with regards to remembering our own steps.. And the other dance, we haven't done it properly with all 6 of us yet.. So that's a muddle too.. Haiz.. And have I mentioned the costume? Lol.. After designing so much and stuff, I tried it on yesterday and I look like a sack of potatoes.. Seriously.. It's soooo terrible.. Sai is yet to be shocked.. But then again, that girl looks good in everything..

I'm happier today.. Firstly, it's Friday.. Which means the working week is over for everyone else.. Which means someone is coming home soon.. :) And another reason being something else which I shall not mention.. I'm just glad I went online in the afternoon yesterday, that's all.. :)

Met Bhavani yesterday on our way to pick costumes.. And I must say, she is quite lost when it comes to addresses as well.. Haha.. Thanks, babe.. Thanks for making us walk all over Bishan and eventually end up takin a cab to the guy's house.. I don't understand why he lives in such an ulu place.. And the neighbour's dog... My goodness!! I almost jumped out of my skin.. Anyway it was really nice meeting up with her yesterday after a long while and walking around AMK with my torn paper bag and having a simple dinner and catching up on everything that's been happening.. Missed ya babe.. Seeya later at the rehearsals.. :)

Just mailed the graduation forms to let them know I'm not attending the function.. Really can't be bothered to also.. Still got a mountain of forms to fill before Monday morning.. Haiz.. It's pretty depressing actually, considering the possibility o not being able to attend many functions and parties anymore thanks to the weekend shift involved.. I would even probably miss Neelu's party that I'm supposed to help to organise.. :(

Anyway got to go packing things up before I leave for tuition.. Got a long day ahead.. Ciao!!

Multiple Emotions

You know how it is when people sometimes undermine the credibility of those around them and tend to overestimate their own intelligence.. They get so caught up in gloating over their 'so-called' upper hand over the situation that they fail to realise that sometimes the quieter ones tend to overtake them with their reasoning, and reality smacks them really hard on the face when they find out that all along they have been living in a state of delusion trying to be smarter than the others and praying for the downfall of the rest.. Well, all I have to say is, I hope your steady enough to take the blow when it comes.. I will pray for you.. Never thought there would come a day when I type out such an entry.. But well, right now, I can't help it.. Oh well..

Your only friend

You know how sometimes you feel like you're all alone? I mean, you do have people around you and all, but you feel this certain emptiness within? Something you can't explain.. You try to pull back from those close to you cuz you fear hurting them.. Yet you miss them not being around .. You cannot blame circumstances or fate for the way things turn out, cuz you know that ultimately these things could't be helped..
And then there are the those whom you feel misunderstand your actions.. Those whom you felt that you could trust the most, those you always knew would understand you the most, those you expected to know why you did each thing you did.. These people when they misunderstand you or resort to trusting their gut feelings and assumptions rather than talking it out with you.. Nothing beats the feeling of that disappointment felt and you just decide to move away cuz you know the trust that you believed in, no longer remains..
Then there are the few that do things unconsciously with no intention of hurting you.. Yet you can't help but wish they would for a while, just stop and think about what they are doing and how that may affect you..That they would be a little more sensitive to your feelings..
And then the few who never let you know what they are thinking.. Who choose to keep you in the dark about what goes on in their minds and just expect you to follow.. You follow blindly, just trusting them and trusting that they wouldn't let you fall eventually.. But would they?
And then the ones who move away cuz they feel they will hurt you by being near.. These ones I wish would just talk it out instead of deciding the path themselves..
And then the many you don't hear from or see around as the days go by and then you start to realise that things will never be the same.. The days you remember fondly will be nothing more than a memory, one that you can only look back upon and never have again..
Sometimes all you have is yourself..

Fur Trade Cruelty

A video on animal cruelty targeting at the fur trade.. I couldn't complete watching it.. It's really cruel and the part where the skinned raccoon turns its head towards the camera really is painful.. Please discourage the fur trade.. Watch the video and you'll know why..
Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org

Budhia

This was a documentary I caught yesterday and I was really disturbed by it. It focuses on a 4year old boy, 4 YEAR OLD who is being trained for marathons.. When I saw him lacing up his tiny running shoes and saw him sleeping in the jeep before his run, saw the way he put his food into the mouth, the way his head swayed side to side as he ran, all that came to mind was my 5 year old cousin.. So young.. So innocent.. I felt so sorry for this kid..

Budhia was born in the slums, the youngest of 4 kids and his mum had sold him off to a peddlar in return for cash to support the kids and her family.. He was abused by the peddlar at such a young age.. He used to get stoned after the guy came back drunk and he managed to get into the hands of Baranchi, who now claims to be his guardian..

Watching the video, I can't help but doubt Baranchi's genuine interest in the child's welfare.. I can't help but wonder if Baranchi would have treated his own child this way, whether he would have put his own son through such rigorous training and harsh conditions.. And when asked if he was worried that these methods of training could have severe impacts on such a young boy, he responded saying that if Budhia were to die, he would die a martyr, doing something proper.. How can you say something like that? I don't know.. This could just be my side of the issue, but I was just really disturbed..

I can't seem to find the final part of the documentary though, where Baranchi makes Budhia run in a 70km record breaking marathon under sweltering heat.. Where you see the poor kid dehydrated and exhausted halfway through the race, yet Baranchi refuses to give him a drop of water and instead lures him with the water bottle suspended above him to make him run.. Finally at 67km, after seven hours, the child just stops and his head rolls back, his eyes start to close and he starts having fits and throws up.. I thought the child would die.. Yet, after just an hour, Baranchi takes him back to collect his medal and meet the press and media and insists that the boy will still run in the future despite what healthcare officials have to say..

I just think it's really disturbing.. subjecting a small kid to so much pressure, adding muscle building protein and raw glucose to his diet at this age, and ultimately acknowledging the possibility that Budhia could die one day this way.. I just think it's cruel..

*grin*

I'm much much happier now.. Thanks to conversations with two of you...
One who is willing to go out of your way to make my day and another who is willing to try to make an effort to make me smile.. Thank you, both of you..

*fingers crossed*