Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Somewhere over the rainbow...
Somehow hearing the words from this child makes you pretty emotional...
Connie Talbot's rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow...
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
Connie Talbot's rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow...
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
racing against reality
It keeps coming back. Again and again. Just when I thought I was rid of that cycle of these things repeating themselves time and again, I realise it was wishful thinking.
Why does it happen this way? Each time I pick myself up and tell myself it's over and the worse has happened and now everything is for the better, I find myself back at square one. Trying to mend the broken pieces and pick up the shards of my life again and attempt to piece them back.
I walked today. Unbelievable. From Yishun Library back home. Never believed I would. Usually just dump myself in the cab because the wait for the bus is too troublesome or the walk to Yishun station seems far! And I walked home. Through that "uluated" stretch of jungle past the temple, through that eerie darkness, through that route where the only people you meet are the workers from the shipyard cycling home. Not to mention, with two extremely heavy bags, one on each shoulder. And I didnt even seem to feel the strain. No, Im not stronger and I havent been working out. I guess, sometimes your emotional state of mind is more powerful than we give it credit for. I would have continued to Sembawang Park, but I was in a skirt with two bags of books with me. Sometimes I amaze myself...
Was so hungry an hour back. Somehow it all disappeared. Skipped my dinner. Just gonna turn in for the night in a bit. And Im having a splitting headache. Stupid pain's been bugging me since 7pm and the noisy kids weren't helping today either.
I need to occupy myself tomorrow. I need a break. Something. If all else fails, I would probably go to Yishun Primary for the parents' dance and help polish them up a bit. So annoying that I get off when everyone else works and then I work weekends.
I think I really need to go on that cruise. *fingers crossed*
I wish I knew why it seems like I committed a sin for which there is no second chance or why Im made to feel like it was something I can never be pardoned for.. But it's something I will never be able to forget.
Why does it happen this way? Each time I pick myself up and tell myself it's over and the worse has happened and now everything is for the better, I find myself back at square one. Trying to mend the broken pieces and pick up the shards of my life again and attempt to piece them back.
I walked today. Unbelievable. From Yishun Library back home. Never believed I would. Usually just dump myself in the cab because the wait for the bus is too troublesome or the walk to Yishun station seems far! And I walked home. Through that "uluated" stretch of jungle past the temple, through that eerie darkness, through that route where the only people you meet are the workers from the shipyard cycling home. Not to mention, with two extremely heavy bags, one on each shoulder. And I didnt even seem to feel the strain. No, Im not stronger and I havent been working out. I guess, sometimes your emotional state of mind is more powerful than we give it credit for. I would have continued to Sembawang Park, but I was in a skirt with two bags of books with me. Sometimes I amaze myself...
Was so hungry an hour back. Somehow it all disappeared. Skipped my dinner. Just gonna turn in for the night in a bit. And Im having a splitting headache. Stupid pain's been bugging me since 7pm and the noisy kids weren't helping today either.
I need to occupy myself tomorrow. I need a break. Something. If all else fails, I would probably go to Yishun Primary for the parents' dance and help polish them up a bit. So annoying that I get off when everyone else works and then I work weekends.
I think I really need to go on that cruise. *fingers crossed*
I wish I knew why it seems like I committed a sin for which there is no second chance or why Im made to feel like it was something I can never be pardoned for.. But it's something I will never be able to forget.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Many moons later
It's been quite a while and somehow I miss spilling everything... Mis that sense of lightheartedness at the end of my rambling.. Oh well.. Been super busy and emotionally drained to do any proper writing..
First things first, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my Reporting Officer who seems like she will try to convince me to stay.. It's super hard when you feel stuck, yet you know your colleagues(some of them) genuinely care and they really don't want you to leave, and you know that you're gonna be super broke within the next month yet you know staying on could be worse for you cuz you may lose your sanity around this place.. Siew Wei, now I understand exactly why you left the way you did.. The thought of being penniless and broke and jobless is pretty hard to digest but I have to think of something. I refuse to spend my days with outreach and class visits where annoying teachers sit in and expect you to make magic. This is definitely not me. Yes, everyone will say, it's kids and i love kids and so I should love this. Yea.. But this is a league of its own.. This is not about kids. Its about the demands of ridiculously ambitious parents. The times I feel so hypocritical doing this makes all the satisfaction of the job seem so minimal.. The only thing I enjoy is storytelling, for CERTAIN kids only.. The look on their faces when you say something ridiculous, the way they get all excited when they know what you're gonna say next, the way they burst out laughing after the story of the 'wicked witch', how they memorise the actions of the 'tailor' story.. That I would miss. But that's all.
Moving on, I am currently into Nu Skin and Pharmanex range of products. I think I'd be doing injustice to the products if I were to type out the benefits and how much I believe in it. To find out, let me know and I'll bring you down for a feel of it or we could even indulge in a little spa session together. ;)
Caught the 'Love Guru' which was highly disappointing and 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' which was just the opposite. Please do not be fooled by the poster that looks lame. The movie is really not bad. 90 mins of action and entertainment.
Have you ever felt like you were watching your life screwing up before you? Like you were a spectator on the outside watching your life being played up in front of you. Like all you could do was stare and keep your fingers crossed that the storyline will take a twist, yet unable to do anything to make a change? Have you ever felt like you were being dragged underwater by unseen forces and each time you tried to come up to breathe, the forces only got stronger and stronger? Have you ever felt that you were given wings to fly and just when you learnt to fly steadily and gained the confidence to soar really high, someone shot you down and all you could do was to fall harder and harder? Have you ever felt like you'd just like to sleep the day through? To not have to wake up to realise that the happiness and contentment you felt when your eyes were closed were nothing but dreams that would come to an end the minute you opened your eyes? Have you ever felt like running, continuously, cuz if you stopped, reality would catch up with you? Have you?? ... I have...
First things first, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my Reporting Officer who seems like she will try to convince me to stay.. It's super hard when you feel stuck, yet you know your colleagues(some of them) genuinely care and they really don't want you to leave, and you know that you're gonna be super broke within the next month yet you know staying on could be worse for you cuz you may lose your sanity around this place.. Siew Wei, now I understand exactly why you left the way you did.. The thought of being penniless and broke and jobless is pretty hard to digest but I have to think of something. I refuse to spend my days with outreach and class visits where annoying teachers sit in and expect you to make magic. This is definitely not me. Yes, everyone will say, it's kids and i love kids and so I should love this. Yea.. But this is a league of its own.. This is not about kids. Its about the demands of ridiculously ambitious parents. The times I feel so hypocritical doing this makes all the satisfaction of the job seem so minimal.. The only thing I enjoy is storytelling, for CERTAIN kids only.. The look on their faces when you say something ridiculous, the way they get all excited when they know what you're gonna say next, the way they burst out laughing after the story of the 'wicked witch', how they memorise the actions of the 'tailor' story.. That I would miss. But that's all.
Moving on, I am currently into Nu Skin and Pharmanex range of products. I think I'd be doing injustice to the products if I were to type out the benefits and how much I believe in it. To find out, let me know and I'll bring you down for a feel of it or we could even indulge in a little spa session together. ;)
Caught the 'Love Guru' which was highly disappointing and 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' which was just the opposite. Please do not be fooled by the poster that looks lame. The movie is really not bad. 90 mins of action and entertainment.
Have you ever felt like you were watching your life screwing up before you? Like you were a spectator on the outside watching your life being played up in front of you. Like all you could do was stare and keep your fingers crossed that the storyline will take a twist, yet unable to do anything to make a change? Have you ever felt like you were being dragged underwater by unseen forces and each time you tried to come up to breathe, the forces only got stronger and stronger? Have you ever felt that you were given wings to fly and just when you learnt to fly steadily and gained the confidence to soar really high, someone shot you down and all you could do was to fall harder and harder? Have you ever felt like you'd just like to sleep the day through? To not have to wake up to realise that the happiness and contentment you felt when your eyes were closed were nothing but dreams that would come to an end the minute you opened your eyes? Have you ever felt like running, continuously, cuz if you stopped, reality would catch up with you? Have you?? ... I have...
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Flight of the Night Owl
Yesterday was the Flight of the Night Owl.
I must say, although we are all aching and groaning and totally lethargic today, somehow I have no regrets taking part. I mean the race itself was tiring, especially when we ended up running all over the place and the clues seemed to throw us off course. But, the experience was pretty interesting. I mean, it's not everyday we get to go on such events with friends. Movies, shopping, sightseeing, all these are things we can always indulge in unlike things like these, for which we must wait for.
We all met at Dhoby Gaut and changed into our group's pink outfits and set off to the national museum to receive instructions and clues. The museum was so pretty last night, with all the lights and designs flashed onto the walls. The race was pretty tough as we take a while to get our bearings straight and we could not seem to solve the clue about the gates. But we had tonnes of laughter and exercise that will last me a whole year through. I can't even walk now.. Haha.
Everything will be a pleasant memory.. The painful walk everywhere, the horror at the sight of steps, Vic's strong mac cravings, Geeta's extremely heavy bag, the very nice taxi uncle, the woman sitting by herself for no reason at RGS gates, the torturous run to Asian civilisations museum, the walk along esplanade after, Vas's ability to fall asleep anywhere, her attempt at being muscular, free cookies at subway, Geeta carrying along the street directory, torchlights from Geeta and Vas, Sai being ambitious and bringing spare clothes, the baby cockroach attack, playing 'frisbee' with lightsticks at esplanade, Titanic moments, the baby merlion, photography in the middle if the road, running into cabs without money.. Oh my...
Now Im sleep deprived having slept just 3 and a half hours this afternoon. Oh well, it's off to work tomorrow. No choice. Haiz.. Pictures from yesterday...
I must say, although we are all aching and groaning and totally lethargic today, somehow I have no regrets taking part. I mean the race itself was tiring, especially when we ended up running all over the place and the clues seemed to throw us off course. But, the experience was pretty interesting. I mean, it's not everyday we get to go on such events with friends. Movies, shopping, sightseeing, all these are things we can always indulge in unlike things like these, for which we must wait for.
We all met at Dhoby Gaut and changed into our group's pink outfits and set off to the national museum to receive instructions and clues. The museum was so pretty last night, with all the lights and designs flashed onto the walls. The race was pretty tough as we take a while to get our bearings straight and we could not seem to solve the clue about the gates. But we had tonnes of laughter and exercise that will last me a whole year through. I can't even walk now.. Haha.
Everything will be a pleasant memory.. The painful walk everywhere, the horror at the sight of steps, Vic's strong mac cravings, Geeta's extremely heavy bag, the very nice taxi uncle, the woman sitting by herself for no reason at RGS gates, the torturous run to Asian civilisations museum, the walk along esplanade after, Vas's ability to fall asleep anywhere, her attempt at being muscular, free cookies at subway, Geeta carrying along the street directory, torchlights from Geeta and Vas, Sai being ambitious and bringing spare clothes, the baby cockroach attack, playing 'frisbee' with lightsticks at esplanade, Titanic moments, the baby merlion, photography in the middle if the road, running into cabs without money.. Oh my...
Now Im sleep deprived having slept just 3 and a half hours this afternoon. Oh well, it's off to work tomorrow. No choice. Haiz.. Pictures from yesterday...
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday
Today is Miss. Kalarranjeny’s 23rd. :) Received a call from her yesterday night to tell me she received my gift. I was so glad that it reached her correctly and on time and I’m pretty happy she liked it. I was so worried how the champagne and chocolates would look in the package but I’m relieved it was prettily packaged and sent across. Yay! Talking to her mum yesterday night made things more complete somehow. Grew up around aunty since I was 7 and there is a warmth each time I see her or give her a hug. I remember how she drove all the way to my place with roses cuz Jen wanted to surprise me on my 21st. That’s something I was really touched about. Aunty was so cute when she kept thanking me for doing something like this for Jen. Im just glad they are happy. Happy Birthday Jen. :)
On another note, there is exactly one week left to our great heritage race. Haha.. Somehow I think this whole thing is pretty funny. I cannot imagine myself running around or attempting physical challenges or solving mental puzzles past midnight. Oh well, one of the many spastic things we do.. And I am really looking forward to the company. I love my girls and the other team with us is perfect too. If only we could actually get the van, huh? Haha.. Oh well.. No manual license. Too bad.
I wanna catch another movie.. Caught Hancock last week and I want to catch that horror flick I saw during the trailers section. Looked interesting. The sort where I would probably crawl down to the edges of my seat for. No idea when it’s showing, though.
Im so lazy at work right now.. Been yakking away to Siew Wei and Shahada.. I think they may fire me soon if they observe well enough that I just haven’t done a thing.. But I guess it’s a carried forward feeling from yesterday. Nobody seems to be in the mood for work.. Office looks and feels like a ghost town today. Everyone is exhausted after the charity donation drive at EXPO that started at 8am yesterday. That was madness.. Im still sleepy and mentally exhausted. But luckily it’s Friday!!! And Im off tomorrow! :)
On another note, there is exactly one week left to our great heritage race. Haha.. Somehow I think this whole thing is pretty funny. I cannot imagine myself running around or attempting physical challenges or solving mental puzzles past midnight. Oh well, one of the many spastic things we do.. And I am really looking forward to the company. I love my girls and the other team with us is perfect too. If only we could actually get the van, huh? Haha.. Oh well.. No manual license. Too bad.
I wanna catch another movie.. Caught Hancock last week and I want to catch that horror flick I saw during the trailers section. Looked interesting. The sort where I would probably crawl down to the edges of my seat for. No idea when it’s showing, though.
Im so lazy at work right now.. Been yakking away to Siew Wei and Shahada.. I think they may fire me soon if they observe well enough that I just haven’t done a thing.. But I guess it’s a carried forward feeling from yesterday. Nobody seems to be in the mood for work.. Office looks and feels like a ghost town today. Everyone is exhausted after the charity donation drive at EXPO that started at 8am yesterday. That was madness.. Im still sleepy and mentally exhausted. But luckily it’s Friday!!! And Im off tomorrow! :)
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