Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Somewhere over the rainbow...
Somehow hearing the words from this child makes you pretty emotional...
Connie Talbot's rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow...
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
Connie Talbot's rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow...
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
racing against reality
It keeps coming back. Again and again. Just when I thought I was rid of that cycle of these things repeating themselves time and again, I realise it was wishful thinking.
Why does it happen this way? Each time I pick myself up and tell myself it's over and the worse has happened and now everything is for the better, I find myself back at square one. Trying to mend the broken pieces and pick up the shards of my life again and attempt to piece them back.
I walked today. Unbelievable. From Yishun Library back home. Never believed I would. Usually just dump myself in the cab because the wait for the bus is too troublesome or the walk to Yishun station seems far! And I walked home. Through that "uluated" stretch of jungle past the temple, through that eerie darkness, through that route where the only people you meet are the workers from the shipyard cycling home. Not to mention, with two extremely heavy bags, one on each shoulder. And I didnt even seem to feel the strain. No, Im not stronger and I havent been working out. I guess, sometimes your emotional state of mind is more powerful than we give it credit for. I would have continued to Sembawang Park, but I was in a skirt with two bags of books with me. Sometimes I amaze myself...
Was so hungry an hour back. Somehow it all disappeared. Skipped my dinner. Just gonna turn in for the night in a bit. And Im having a splitting headache. Stupid pain's been bugging me since 7pm and the noisy kids weren't helping today either.
I need to occupy myself tomorrow. I need a break. Something. If all else fails, I would probably go to Yishun Primary for the parents' dance and help polish them up a bit. So annoying that I get off when everyone else works and then I work weekends.
I think I really need to go on that cruise. *fingers crossed*
I wish I knew why it seems like I committed a sin for which there is no second chance or why Im made to feel like it was something I can never be pardoned for.. But it's something I will never be able to forget.
Why does it happen this way? Each time I pick myself up and tell myself it's over and the worse has happened and now everything is for the better, I find myself back at square one. Trying to mend the broken pieces and pick up the shards of my life again and attempt to piece them back.
I walked today. Unbelievable. From Yishun Library back home. Never believed I would. Usually just dump myself in the cab because the wait for the bus is too troublesome or the walk to Yishun station seems far! And I walked home. Through that "uluated" stretch of jungle past the temple, through that eerie darkness, through that route where the only people you meet are the workers from the shipyard cycling home. Not to mention, with two extremely heavy bags, one on each shoulder. And I didnt even seem to feel the strain. No, Im not stronger and I havent been working out. I guess, sometimes your emotional state of mind is more powerful than we give it credit for. I would have continued to Sembawang Park, but I was in a skirt with two bags of books with me. Sometimes I amaze myself...
Was so hungry an hour back. Somehow it all disappeared. Skipped my dinner. Just gonna turn in for the night in a bit. And Im having a splitting headache. Stupid pain's been bugging me since 7pm and the noisy kids weren't helping today either.
I need to occupy myself tomorrow. I need a break. Something. If all else fails, I would probably go to Yishun Primary for the parents' dance and help polish them up a bit. So annoying that I get off when everyone else works and then I work weekends.
I think I really need to go on that cruise. *fingers crossed*
I wish I knew why it seems like I committed a sin for which there is no second chance or why Im made to feel like it was something I can never be pardoned for.. But it's something I will never be able to forget.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Many moons later
It's been quite a while and somehow I miss spilling everything... Mis that sense of lightheartedness at the end of my rambling.. Oh well.. Been super busy and emotionally drained to do any proper writing..
First things first, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my Reporting Officer who seems like she will try to convince me to stay.. It's super hard when you feel stuck, yet you know your colleagues(some of them) genuinely care and they really don't want you to leave, and you know that you're gonna be super broke within the next month yet you know staying on could be worse for you cuz you may lose your sanity around this place.. Siew Wei, now I understand exactly why you left the way you did.. The thought of being penniless and broke and jobless is pretty hard to digest but I have to think of something. I refuse to spend my days with outreach and class visits where annoying teachers sit in and expect you to make magic. This is definitely not me. Yes, everyone will say, it's kids and i love kids and so I should love this. Yea.. But this is a league of its own.. This is not about kids. Its about the demands of ridiculously ambitious parents. The times I feel so hypocritical doing this makes all the satisfaction of the job seem so minimal.. The only thing I enjoy is storytelling, for CERTAIN kids only.. The look on their faces when you say something ridiculous, the way they get all excited when they know what you're gonna say next, the way they burst out laughing after the story of the 'wicked witch', how they memorise the actions of the 'tailor' story.. That I would miss. But that's all.
Moving on, I am currently into Nu Skin and Pharmanex range of products. I think I'd be doing injustice to the products if I were to type out the benefits and how much I believe in it. To find out, let me know and I'll bring you down for a feel of it or we could even indulge in a little spa session together. ;)
Caught the 'Love Guru' which was highly disappointing and 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' which was just the opposite. Please do not be fooled by the poster that looks lame. The movie is really not bad. 90 mins of action and entertainment.
Have you ever felt like you were watching your life screwing up before you? Like you were a spectator on the outside watching your life being played up in front of you. Like all you could do was stare and keep your fingers crossed that the storyline will take a twist, yet unable to do anything to make a change? Have you ever felt like you were being dragged underwater by unseen forces and each time you tried to come up to breathe, the forces only got stronger and stronger? Have you ever felt that you were given wings to fly and just when you learnt to fly steadily and gained the confidence to soar really high, someone shot you down and all you could do was to fall harder and harder? Have you ever felt like you'd just like to sleep the day through? To not have to wake up to realise that the happiness and contentment you felt when your eyes were closed were nothing but dreams that would come to an end the minute you opened your eyes? Have you ever felt like running, continuously, cuz if you stopped, reality would catch up with you? Have you?? ... I have...
First things first, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my Reporting Officer who seems like she will try to convince me to stay.. It's super hard when you feel stuck, yet you know your colleagues(some of them) genuinely care and they really don't want you to leave, and you know that you're gonna be super broke within the next month yet you know staying on could be worse for you cuz you may lose your sanity around this place.. Siew Wei, now I understand exactly why you left the way you did.. The thought of being penniless and broke and jobless is pretty hard to digest but I have to think of something. I refuse to spend my days with outreach and class visits where annoying teachers sit in and expect you to make magic. This is definitely not me. Yes, everyone will say, it's kids and i love kids and so I should love this. Yea.. But this is a league of its own.. This is not about kids. Its about the demands of ridiculously ambitious parents. The times I feel so hypocritical doing this makes all the satisfaction of the job seem so minimal.. The only thing I enjoy is storytelling, for CERTAIN kids only.. The look on their faces when you say something ridiculous, the way they get all excited when they know what you're gonna say next, the way they burst out laughing after the story of the 'wicked witch', how they memorise the actions of the 'tailor' story.. That I would miss. But that's all.
Moving on, I am currently into Nu Skin and Pharmanex range of products. I think I'd be doing injustice to the products if I were to type out the benefits and how much I believe in it. To find out, let me know and I'll bring you down for a feel of it or we could even indulge in a little spa session together. ;)
Caught the 'Love Guru' which was highly disappointing and 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' which was just the opposite. Please do not be fooled by the poster that looks lame. The movie is really not bad. 90 mins of action and entertainment.
Have you ever felt like you were watching your life screwing up before you? Like you were a spectator on the outside watching your life being played up in front of you. Like all you could do was stare and keep your fingers crossed that the storyline will take a twist, yet unable to do anything to make a change? Have you ever felt like you were being dragged underwater by unseen forces and each time you tried to come up to breathe, the forces only got stronger and stronger? Have you ever felt that you were given wings to fly and just when you learnt to fly steadily and gained the confidence to soar really high, someone shot you down and all you could do was to fall harder and harder? Have you ever felt like you'd just like to sleep the day through? To not have to wake up to realise that the happiness and contentment you felt when your eyes were closed were nothing but dreams that would come to an end the minute you opened your eyes? Have you ever felt like running, continuously, cuz if you stopped, reality would catch up with you? Have you?? ... I have...
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