Goodbye 2008

It's the 31st today!

I can't believe it's the end of a year already. It went by way too fast and so many things have happened this year, it's crazy...

So much hurt, so many tears, so many disappointments, so much heartache...

Also, my fair share of joy and laughter and extremely happy moments... I cannot deny that...

You were the reason for my happiest moments and my deepest grief.. You made me feel like the luckiest girl around and also the unluckiest... With you I learnt to aim for the stars and I also learnt how it felt to be crawling in the dumps... With you I learnt the beauty of giving and loving and also the pain of it... I learnt that decisions that are made past the correct time may never get a second chance.. I have learnt that it is more important to follow your heart and gut instinct than what is deemed to be correct.. That societal norms and family rules may not necessarily be applicable to everyone within the family.. That you should take the path where your heart lies cuz that usually leads you to happiness.. I have learnt that sometimes sacrifice may not be the best thing after all.. And I have also learnt that even if it may not be the best thing, you got to do it when there is no other alternative.. I have also learnt that love cannot be forced and will only work if two people want it to.. That it's useless believing that you can will things to work on your own...

I have learnt that sometimes the people whom you least expect are the ones who are there to pick you up and watch out for you.. ( Thank you, Kevin and Siva) .. I have learnt too that sometimes without your girlfriends, you are nothing... The smiles and laughter and tears they share with you are priceless... No matter how often you meet or hangout or how seldom you communicate, they would never let you down..

To Sai, for listening, for understanding, for feeling my frustration, for curling my hair and doing my eyes, for getting excited with me for things that mean the world to me, for sharing my love for chocolates and seafood...

To Vic, for staying up at night to let me cry, for calling me a million times to make sure Im ok.. For carrying an unglamorously huge balloon through the train for me cuz you knew I wanted you to, for actually thinking about coming to India ...

To Vas, for patiently listening to my long updates of stories each time we meet, for the wake up calls each morning that makes me feel remembered, for walking to an ulu mac to get me the 'wrong' breakfast, for being honest with me...

To Bhavani, for coming in at the right times, for listening and trying to save me from potential heartache, for getting to know people important to me, for getting frsutrated on my behalf and for being there..

To Geeta, for calling me daily, getting happy and sad for me, for fighting for my blue blanket, for sharing movie dates with me, for getting embarrassed with me, for travelling to Commonwealth station at night cuz you knew it meant a lot...

To Shivani, for listening, for getting angry, for making me egg and cheese, for always cooking when you stay over, for watching 'colic' with me, for painting the 'V' and helping me with damage control...

To Sandhya, for always trying to get me to eat, for worrying, for listening, for traumatising me about my brother, for sharing years of friendship, for calling to check on me under your block during the lightning...

To Aarthi, for appearing at the right moments, for taking me out on a random lunch date, for making me spill my heart and listening to my depression, for understanding and telling me what to do, for making me laugh, for sharing my joys and tears...

To Siew Wei, for coming into my life, for undertanding me, for knowing exactly how I feel, for the tears you share with me, for getting so frustrated at my helplessness, for wanting the best for me..

I love you all many many much!!

I wish the year end had taken a different turn... I still wish there would be a miracle.. I wish stars and planets didn't interfere with my life so much.. I wish I could leave ...

I hope the year ahead is better, less tears , less pain, less troubles..
I hope for a job so I can still support Buyan...
I hope to leave this place..
I hope to turn cold and indifferent and numb...
I hope to forget how to love...
I hope to be more antisocial and withdrawn...

Xmas

It's that time of year... Of holly and mistletoes, of love and giving, of presents and candycane, of laughter and miracles.. I do believe in miracles, at least to a certain extent, and miracle or n0t, there is a sense of magic lingering in the air this season... Of possibilities, of hope, of fairytales and of dreams.. The lights, the cheer and the laughter of shoppers and friends linking hands as they walk, it'll all just so beautiful.. :)

Yesterday I sat down to watch 'A Walk to Remember'. Yet again. This time with Lavin-the most unbelievable of companions and I can't help but feel this warm sensation each time my favourite parts come up.. Where he stands up for her in the cafeteria, the way he calls her 'Baby', the softness that comes out from him whenever he is around her, the scene of the state lines and tattoo, when she refers to him as her angel... It's just sooo sweet! :)

I need a job.. There are so many things I wanna get... The mp3 player, a bag, heels, the lamp I have been meaning to get, the books that I really want to get and start reading... Not to mention settling my handphone bills, and supporting my Mongolian kid... Im so afraid I will have to give her up.. :( I hope I last it out...

I want my miracle....

Coincidences and Signs

It's been a while.. Never really knew how to put in words and express the turbulence within... Actually I still don't.. And I doubt I would make sense anyway...

How do you know you have gotten a sign? I mean you wait for a sign and then you get a sign that you asked for but you start doubting it because it could just be coincidence.. I mean, it was so possible that it could just be a normal occurence and not a sign.. But then again, it just may be the sign I was looking for.. So what do I do - take it as a sign and make decisoons based on that thought or dismiss it as a coincidence? See what I mean, I start sprouting loads of nonsense.. Sign or coincidence, i think Im gonna dismiss them both and go by my instinct and belief.. And I'll wait to see where this will all lead to...

So much I want to know.. So many things I need to ask.. So many burning questions that drive me crazy each and every day but I know this is not the time.. I smile and let it go.. One day things will fall into place... Time, time is all that's needed.. I hope...

I wanna see you the way I know you.. The way you were and the things you did.. the way you'd say things and the way your eyes light up when you smile.. I wanna see your smile reach your eyes and the warmth radiate from within like how I remember it.. I wanna see that laughter and mischief once more.. That arrogance that came through once in a while, the confidence that you showed.. The positivity and faith that made me believe and the smiles you brought about... I know I will..

Will it be my turn, two hearts beating together as one, no more loneliness , only love , laughter and fun

How do you know

How would you know someone is made for you? That you have finally met that someone you have been waiting for all your life - the one who has the ability to totally sweep you off your feet and make you feel the butterflies each time they walk into the room? How do you know your decisions would lead to positive consequences? How do you know if the right thing to do may actually be the wrong thing for you? Is following your heart, even if it means going against social and cultural norms, wrong? Or is it more wise fighting for what you want and believe in? But how would you be certain that what you want is actually what is best for you and what guarantee do you have that this is what you should be doing???

How can you tell that someone who loves you now will always love you this way and its not merely a temporary phase? Or how would you know if someone you love would return your love the same way??

Breathless

If our love was a fairy tale, I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we’d say I do
And if we had babies they would look like you
It’d be so beautiful if that came true
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made
And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You’re something special I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

Value of Time

Have you ever felt so muddled up? Like there were really really important things running through your head that needed your attention and time, that you were so hesitant to look into because you were afraid of finding the answers to them?

I am not going to question why it is so or why it couldn't have been otherwise or wonder at the timing, or the twists and surprises and shocks that meet you at every turn you make in your journey. Questioning never provides answers.. Time, I realised does...

I remembered today as I sat in church, a particular day similar to this, where I sat before Her just like I did today and made a request.. Told Her something I felt was only fair.. And I remember feeling so down about it after. And today, those thoughts came flooding back.. And I realised that time had taught me a lesson.. To stop, to understand, to learn patience, to wait, to believe, to surrender, to accept, to give, and today - to wonder at the mystery of it all...

It is a challenge.. Every day is a challenge of it's own.. certain days, you feel nothing happens and certain days you feel you were on a constant roller coaster ride.. Today I felt peaceful- after a long while.. I felt this amazing sense of calm I haven't felt in days.. Sitting at Her altar after so long made me realise how much I missed church.. I felt this sense of peace wash over me today in the serenity of it all.. And somehow that trip to Sai Centre, completed it.. And to top it off, a meeting with Siew Wei. :)

I Love You Till The End

I just want to see you
When youre all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why dont you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end

I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
Im lost for words dont tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end

Only A Woman Like You... :)

So touching

If only ... beautiful..

"Call it love, madness or just my heartbeats.. It's the same thing for me..."

"Alot of people have loved before, but my love stands apart from all of them because they don't have you.."

"I will love you till I die, and even after that.."

*sigh*

A story :)

Let me tell you a short story.

Geneva is known as the diplomatic capital of the world.

Politicians, nobel laureates and scientists from all over the world converge in this city.

And that mostly happen at the Palais des Nations.

Which is the house of the United Nations in Geneva.

In front of the UN office, there is a giant wooden three legged chair,
the fourth leg is broken in half.

So, basically, it is a three and a half legged chair.

That chair is a reminder to everyone who passes by it that even today landmines kill and maim people, including little children, all over the world.

Everyday I have to pass by that chair, either when I go to the UN or to my school.

And everyday I get the goosebumps.

In the last 8 months in Geneva,

YOU are the second reason for my goosebumps.

End of story.

Affirmation

This song was somthing that kept me company in sec school... Hearing it again brought some comfort and made me smile...

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Until you say goodbye
Oh no no no no no

Listen with your heart

Que que na-to-ra
You will understand

Listen with your heart
You will understand

Let it break upon you
Like a wave upon the sand

Listen with your heart
You will understand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8GAkEhbRfs&feature=related

her tears

She cried as she heard my tale.. She took my hands in hers and her eyes welled up with tears... At that moment, I knew someone had totally truly understood exactly the pain I was keeping within...

These are moments in your life when you feel so special. When someone so totally feels your ache and pain.. But then again, she was the one right there at that point watching things happen and knowing my exact motives and thoughts and intentions, the one i poured everything to during lunch and tea breaks.. The one i'd disappear into the resource centre with to talk stories to... That's why she understood it a bit too well... Cuz she knew.. everything... why I did what when.. Why I didnt do things.. If only you had known...

Guess how much i love you....

I love this book....

Sweet

very romantic..
Thanks Ganesh, for sending me the clip :)



The words are so beautiful and romantic...

...

Somewhere over the rainbow...

Somehow hearing the words from this child makes you pretty emotional...
Connie Talbot's rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow...



Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

racing against reality

It keeps coming back. Again and again. Just when I thought I was rid of that cycle of these things repeating themselves time and again, I realise it was wishful thinking.

Why does it happen this way? Each time I pick myself up and tell myself it's over and the worse has happened and now everything is for the better, I find myself back at square one. Trying to mend the broken pieces and pick up the shards of my life again and attempt to piece them back.

I walked today. Unbelievable. From Yishun Library back home. Never believed I would. Usually just dump myself in the cab because the wait for the bus is too troublesome or the walk to Yishun station seems far! And I walked home. Through that "uluated" stretch of jungle past the temple, through that eerie darkness, through that route where the only people you meet are the workers from the shipyard cycling home. Not to mention, with two extremely heavy bags, one on each shoulder. And I didnt even seem to feel the strain. No, Im not stronger and I havent been working out. I guess, sometimes your emotional state of mind is more powerful than we give it credit for. I would have continued to Sembawang Park, but I was in a skirt with two bags of books with me. Sometimes I amaze myself...

Was so hungry an hour back. Somehow it all disappeared. Skipped my dinner. Just gonna turn in for the night in a bit. And Im having a splitting headache. Stupid pain's been bugging me since 7pm and the noisy kids weren't helping today either.

I need to occupy myself tomorrow. I need a break. Something. If all else fails, I would probably go to Yishun Primary for the parents' dance and help polish them up a bit. So annoying that I get off when everyone else works and then I work weekends.

I think I really need to go on that cruise. *fingers crossed*

I wish I knew why it seems like I committed a sin for which there is no second chance or why Im made to feel like it was something I can never be pardoned for.. But it's something I will never be able to forget.

Thoughts

"You make my heart flutter..."

Would you say "Ditto"?

Many moons later

It's been quite a while and somehow I miss spilling everything... Mis that sense of lightheartedness at the end of my rambling.. Oh well.. Been super busy and emotionally drained to do any proper writing..

First things first, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my Reporting Officer who seems like she will try to convince me to stay.. It's super hard when you feel stuck, yet you know your colleagues(some of them) genuinely care and they really don't want you to leave, and you know that you're gonna be super broke within the next month yet you know staying on could be worse for you cuz you may lose your sanity around this place.. Siew Wei, now I understand exactly why you left the way you did.. The thought of being penniless and broke and jobless is pretty hard to digest but I have to think of something. I refuse to spend my days with outreach and class visits where annoying teachers sit in and expect you to make magic. This is definitely not me. Yes, everyone will say, it's kids and i love kids and so I should love this. Yea.. But this is a league of its own.. This is not about kids. Its about the demands of ridiculously ambitious parents. The times I feel so hypocritical doing this makes all the satisfaction of the job seem so minimal.. The only thing I enjoy is storytelling, for CERTAIN kids only.. The look on their faces when you say something ridiculous, the way they get all excited when they know what you're gonna say next, the way they burst out laughing after the story of the 'wicked witch', how they memorise the actions of the 'tailor' story.. That I would miss. But that's all.

Moving on, I am currently into Nu Skin and Pharmanex range of products. I think I'd be doing injustice to the products if I were to type out the benefits and how much I believe in it. To find out, let me know and I'll bring you down for a feel of it or we could even indulge in a little spa session together. ;)

Caught the 'Love Guru' which was highly disappointing and 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' which was just the opposite. Please do not be fooled by the poster that looks lame. The movie is really not bad. 90 mins of action and entertainment.

Have you ever felt like you were watching your life screwing up before you? Like you were a spectator on the outside watching your life being played up in front of you. Like all you could do was stare and keep your fingers crossed that the storyline will take a twist, yet unable to do anything to make a change? Have you ever felt like you were being dragged underwater by unseen forces and each time you tried to come up to breathe, the forces only got stronger and stronger? Have you ever felt that you were given wings to fly and just when you learnt to fly steadily and gained the confidence to soar really high, someone shot you down and all you could do was to fall harder and harder? Have you ever felt like you'd just like to sleep the day through? To not have to wake up to realise that the happiness and contentment you felt when your eyes were closed were nothing but dreams that would come to an end the minute you opened your eyes? Have you ever felt like running, continuously, cuz if you stopped, reality would catch up with you? Have you?? ... I have...

Flight of the Night Owl

Yesterday was the Flight of the Night Owl.

I must say, although we are all aching and groaning and totally lethargic today, somehow I have no regrets taking part. I mean the race itself was tiring, especially when we ended up running all over the place and the clues seemed to throw us off course. But, the experience was pretty interesting. I mean, it's not everyday we get to go on such events with friends. Movies, shopping, sightseeing, all these are things we can always indulge in unlike things like these, for which we must wait for.

We all met at Dhoby Gaut and changed into our group's pink outfits and set off to the national museum to receive instructions and clues. The museum was so pretty last night, with all the lights and designs flashed onto the walls. The race was pretty tough as we take a while to get our bearings straight and we could not seem to solve the clue about the gates. But we had tonnes of laughter and exercise that will last me a whole year through. I can't even walk now.. Haha.

Everything will be a pleasant memory.. The painful walk everywhere, the horror at the sight of steps, Vic's strong mac cravings, Geeta's extremely heavy bag, the very nice taxi uncle, the woman sitting by herself for no reason at RGS gates, the torturous run to Asian civilisations museum, the walk along esplanade after, Vas's ability to fall asleep anywhere, her attempt at being muscular, free cookies at subway, Geeta carrying along the street directory, torchlights from Geeta and Vas, Sai being ambitious and bringing spare clothes, the baby cockroach attack, playing 'frisbee' with lightsticks at esplanade, Titanic moments, the baby merlion, photography in the middle if the road, running into cabs without money.. Oh my...

Now Im sleep deprived having slept just 3 and a half hours this afternoon. Oh well, it's off to work tomorrow. No choice. Haiz.. Pictures from yesterday...

Friday

Today is Miss. Kalarranjeny’s 23rd. :) Received a call from her yesterday night to tell me she received my gift. I was so glad that it reached her correctly and on time and I’m pretty happy she liked it. I was so worried how the champagne and chocolates would look in the package but I’m relieved it was prettily packaged and sent across. Yay! Talking to her mum yesterday night made things more complete somehow. Grew up around aunty since I was 7 and there is a warmth each time I see her or give her a hug. I remember how she drove all the way to my place with roses cuz Jen wanted to surprise me on my 21st. That’s something I was really touched about. Aunty was so cute when she kept thanking me for doing something like this for Jen. Im just glad they are happy. Happy Birthday Jen. :)

On another note, there is exactly one week left to our great heritage race. Haha.. Somehow I think this whole thing is pretty funny. I cannot imagine myself running around or attempting physical challenges or solving mental puzzles past midnight. Oh well, one of the many spastic things we do.. And I am really looking forward to the company. I love my girls and the other team with us is perfect too. If only we could actually get the van, huh? Haha.. Oh well.. No manual license. Too bad.

I wanna catch another movie.. Caught Hancock last week and I want to catch that horror flick I saw during the trailers section. Looked interesting. The sort where I would probably crawl down to the edges of my seat for. No idea when it’s showing, though.

Im so lazy at work right now.. Been yakking away to Siew Wei and Shahada.. I think they may fire me soon if they observe well enough that I just haven’t done a thing.. But I guess it’s a carried forward feeling from yesterday. Nobody seems to be in the mood for work.. Office looks and feels like a ghost town today. Everyone is exhausted after the charity donation drive at EXPO that started at 8am yesterday. That was madness.. Im still sleepy and mentally exhausted. But luckily it’s Friday!!! And Im off tomorrow! :)

One of the Enquiries.. :)

In traffic lights, why does Green means WALK and Red means STOP??

There are a number of reasons why GREEN means WALK and RED means STOP.

Edith and Earnest Bonhivert, in their book, Questions Children Ask (Chicago: Standard Educational Corporation, 1997) revealed that scientists say that red and green can be seen more clearly than other colours. This would be mmore clearly revealed through the history of railway lights and their relationship with mists and fog.

Moreover, usually, the red light contains some orange in its hue, and the green light contains some blue. This is to make things easier for and to provide some support for people with red-green colour blindness.

Another commonly known fact is that RED,being the colour of blood, generally signifies danger or hot. It also has often been the colour chosen when a need arose to attract attention, since RED is a colour believed to heighten nervous tension in people. Therefore, people would naturally pause or stop to think before going further when they see red light. GREEN, on the other hand, has a calming effect that would send a message that it is safe. The neutral effect it is believed to bring about would give off an “okay to proceed” signal to the people. So, natural reaction would be it is alright to go ahead or carry on.

In other words, colours do have an effect on how we feel and it has been used to send the right messages to people. Fire engines, for example, are RED and it tells us to keep away. Aeroplanes have red lights on the left wing, green on the right wing, and white lights on their tails. This show pilots where other aeroplanes are and which way they are going. It serves to alert other pilots.

Therefore, RED and GREEN are used in traffic light to indicate STOP and GO probably because the message they send correlates with the notion of danger and safety respectively..

Pride

It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.

Made me think quite a bit.....

Yada Yada Yada

I have successfully placed my very first order online.. Yea yea cheap thrill but I really hope it turns out well and looks as good as the picture promised.. Jen will be shocked to the max when she receives the hamper at her doorstep. Really wanted to do something for her since I have not been able to be with her on her last few birthdays in a row. Anyway hope all turns out well..

I am very stoned.. I am so numb to people commenting on how its already Thursday and the weekend is almost here. Haiz.. i have a long way left :( My last Fun with Tots session has left me pretty discouraged.. I hate it when parents don't respond and participate. It defeats the purpose. I feel odd singing to them and doing actions while the toddlers move all over and the parents stare back at me blankly. I am truly not comfortable. It would have been alright if they joined in, cuz that would have encouraged the kids to join in too. If I had to pick one thing about my job that I would gladly give up, this would rank numero uno.

Im actually looking forward to the Heritage Fest Treasure Hunt. I mean it could be a total screw up and the thought of running through museums at midnight looking for lost treasures seems pretty depressing but hey, the company is gonna be excellent and we would probably amuse ourselves. That seems to be the one really bright spot in this month. And I still cant help laughing when I think back of Geeta's pronounciation of "muchachas". Haha.

Anyway, still pondering what I should do with the Flexi Benefit amount we receive. $400 but I cannot take it out. I have to follow guidelines on the spending. They encourage a PDA but I really don't need one.. Hmm... Perhaps I will dump it on the insurance payment..

It's about 10. Siew Wei will make her entrance in about an hour. Yay! That will keep me entertained till the day is through. I cannot believe they are trusting 2 levels of the library with us. Big mistake. Haha :)

:)

Things I come across while weeding... Hahaha

Why did the ghastly ghost say boo?
It got a closer look at you.
Why did the monster screech and scream?
It saw your face inside a dream.
Why did the witch fly on a broom?
She took a peek inside our room
What gave all the ghouls a scare?
They saw you in your underwear.

Past Midweek

So, it's currently the end of Day 5 of my seven day marathon. I'm super exhausted and it is frustrating when people who don't realise, come and tell me, it's already midweek!! Aargh.. It's way beyond that for me!! Haiz...

Did my very first class visit today and I was close to fainting.. 60 little girls.. And 2 teachers with 6 parent volunteers. I was ready to throw up from the stress. Thank God, the LOs suggested splitting them in 2 groups, if I didn't mind as I would end up repeating my presentation twice. Did I care? No!!!! I'd rather lose my voice drowning 2 separate groups of kids than sit and face 8 adults in a row.. Haha. But it was okay.. Kids burst out laughing as I did the "Lazy Jack and the Silent Princess" book and I was pretty happy when I heard a teacher laugh along as well. That made me relax a little more..

Preeti is waiting for me outside. What more could I ask for? Haha.. So nice to have someone waiting for you to end, cuz you know you have a life after you step out of the office.. :)

Caught "Wanted" yesterday and I must say, I was pretty impressed. I was expecting to be bored and that it was going to be another action movie. But I must admit, although I was ready to throw something at the screen during the effects they used at the start of the movie,(No matter what fraternity you come from or how tough you are, I really don't see how you can fly across two buildings just like that or drive a car with your feet steering it and your arms busy shooting down people through really bad traffic) as it progressed, it kept me pretty glued to the screen. The twists in the story were pretty cool too..I am glad I caught it.. And although Angelina didn't exactly do such a positive role, the end makes you sad watching her as you realise her committment to let the truth prevail. Really impressive.

Anyway Im off!!! I feel so liberated... Tomorrow morning coffee at Juring Regional Library awaits me ! Yay!!

A Tribute

I didn't want to write about it or think about it but I just found out it was Vic's dad's birthday today.. Well, things come flooding back.. Acha's birthday was on Thursday. And I tried not to give it much thought. Tried to brush it away. Now it's back.. Oh well...

At times like these with so many things going on in my life, I wish he were here.. To stand by me, to guide me, to show me the way. I think I may not have been this paranoid and afraid if he was around. Think I might have been more willing to gamble with things if I had the security of his presence next to me. Dances would have been different too. That feeling of having him take time off from work to get home early to help me with my hair and all, that look and smile that would form on his face as he watched me on stage.. I still remember how I was doing "Kannodu Kaanbathellam" once on stage and he wasnt in the audi cuz he was helping with tickets outside. As my song blared on the speakers, I noticed the doors open and I saw him slip in and stand by the shadows throughout my dance. I remember that happiness welling up inside of me when I saw his smile and the look of pride on his face in watching his little girl perform.. Those emotions are gone forever...

I also remember how he taught us how to make catapults, how to catch birds with a basket, how to feed a young calf, how to hold a goat kid.. Trips to India are never the same without him around. I remember that smile on his face the day I came of age. That look in his eyes as grandma asked him to feed me some weird mixture of herbs and God knows what roots.. The way he spent so many $1 coins on that spastic machine at the arcade just because I said I wanted a doll from there. The way he used to bring us to funfairs.. The way he was so tired yet he took us for Hercules during the holidays and how he fell asleep in the theatre.. :)

He was so selfless. He loved unconditionally. He cared for everyone. I remember how he would go and cook something special if my friends were coming over. How he would stay up and cook for my school event and ask me to go sleep first. How he knew I hated ironing my pinafore and he used to iron it for me everynight..

Oh well, the memories are many many.. Try not to think about them cuz then it leaves me feeling miserable that I lost a love so precious, so selfless, so pure - one that i would never ever again experience. Throughout everything, every hurdle, every step, every decision, I know he is next to me.

Rahul

This was just too sweet to miss

Spasticness at its peak

I HATE WEEDING!!! Have i ever mentioned how much I detest drowning in dust, having dust balls cling onto your clothes, feeling irritation in your eyes from the dust and watch your fingers turn black from the accumulated dust? Aaargh!! Im glad im done with it.. for now... Anyhow, this has been a pretty eventful week I must say... Getting to know people.. finding out stuff about people I already knew.. tonnes of work.. Haiz.. But somehow I think its been nice... I remember how i was so scared about certain things a week ago.. somehow I feel i can breathe a little more now as the days go by. And Im getting a little less tense and worried.. Just trying to see how things go. Anyway , Anan's birthday came and wemt. It was nice meeting the rest after some time and travelling back with kevin not knowing that the ones in the lorry were listening to all our conversations. Hahaha.. Met the girls at Causeway Point 2 days ago.. That was pretty fun. Went shopping for matching *---* and were very pleased with our purchase. Then we went for dinner very ambitiously only to have Vic insist suddenly that she wasnt hungry and we eventually ended up with chicken, calamari and mango salad(thanks sai).. Then we decided to take some pictures and as usual we never fail to embarrass ourselves.. We ended up going to admiralty for our shots. Of course, we managed to get ourselves a photographer. Actually, he didn't have a choice. (sorry.. haha) And we learnt that Sai can behave really drunk when she wants to (remember "Uncle GSS going on, no discount ah??"), that Vic sucks at scaring people, except in photographs, she is a pro. Lol... oh well, and ill never forget that Malay guy who kept saying "Shhhh!" It was such a crazy night and it's been a while since i laughed that hard. Thank you babies.. and thank you to you too, for letting us amuse ourselves although you had a paper the next day :)

It's Sunday... aaargh

I know your different. i know you're genuinely nice... But am i nice enough? That worries me..

Anyway it's Monday tomorrow.. *Groan* Such a looooong week ahead, with class visit of pre-schoolers and tonnes of weeding and counter and customer service and fake smiles and issues to handle.. Arrrgh..... I need a break.

Anyway here are some very random shots after i cleared the camera..Some snaps from work and of the heartthrob-Rahul :)

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Hello again

After what feels like eons, I am back. Haha, really been so caught up with work and projects and 'fun with tots' preparations and holiday specials and what-nots, till I hardly have the time for anything. Oh well, feels good to be off this weekend :)

After many many days, I finally managed to meet up with Ms. Vickneshvary. As usual, an outing with her is automatically packed with its fair share of embarrassing moments and terrible predicaments, right darlin? Haha. We went to City Hall with the intention of trying out the new LJ meal but ended up sprinting to Suntec instead cuz we realised we had made 2 poor souls wait for us. During this mad dash, we also managed to royally mess up technical issues as well. How we successfully do these things, I haven't got a clue. :) Since we were at Suntec, we went to Fish & Co. for dinner. What happened there, I don't even wish to mention. It would majorly spoil both our markets so it's better kept silent. *winkz*

The highlight was of course our sense of direction as we cleverly managed to lose our way between the towers and kept staring up at Toys R Us each time we tried a different route. That was completely exhausting. I think it's been a while since I had such a workout. Haha. It was madness. We just never could find our way. I had never been more happier seeing the Underpass to cityhall station, till today..

Although we were lost, being the productive souls we are, we did some productive things as well. :) This, Im very pleased about. We even managed to stop for ice-cream before finally taking the train back. Despite the walking and getting lost and tiring ourselves, I must say, it's been a while since I laughed this hard :)The craziness of today aside, i'm pretty disappointed and upset with the realisation of certain truths. Pretty angry as well. never ever wanted to be in such a position. :(