Goodbye 2008

It's the 31st today!

I can't believe it's the end of a year already. It went by way too fast and so many things have happened this year, it's crazy...

So much hurt, so many tears, so many disappointments, so much heartache...

Also, my fair share of joy and laughter and extremely happy moments... I cannot deny that...

You were the reason for my happiest moments and my deepest grief.. You made me feel like the luckiest girl around and also the unluckiest... With you I learnt to aim for the stars and I also learnt how it felt to be crawling in the dumps... With you I learnt the beauty of giving and loving and also the pain of it... I learnt that decisions that are made past the correct time may never get a second chance.. I have learnt that it is more important to follow your heart and gut instinct than what is deemed to be correct.. That societal norms and family rules may not necessarily be applicable to everyone within the family.. That you should take the path where your heart lies cuz that usually leads you to happiness.. I have learnt that sometimes sacrifice may not be the best thing after all.. And I have also learnt that even if it may not be the best thing, you got to do it when there is no other alternative.. I have also learnt that love cannot be forced and will only work if two people want it to.. That it's useless believing that you can will things to work on your own...

I have learnt that sometimes the people whom you least expect are the ones who are there to pick you up and watch out for you.. ( Thank you, Kevin and Siva) .. I have learnt too that sometimes without your girlfriends, you are nothing... The smiles and laughter and tears they share with you are priceless... No matter how often you meet or hangout or how seldom you communicate, they would never let you down..

To Sai, for listening, for understanding, for feeling my frustration, for curling my hair and doing my eyes, for getting excited with me for things that mean the world to me, for sharing my love for chocolates and seafood...

To Vic, for staying up at night to let me cry, for calling me a million times to make sure Im ok.. For carrying an unglamorously huge balloon through the train for me cuz you knew I wanted you to, for actually thinking about coming to India ...

To Vas, for patiently listening to my long updates of stories each time we meet, for the wake up calls each morning that makes me feel remembered, for walking to an ulu mac to get me the 'wrong' breakfast, for being honest with me...

To Bhavani, for coming in at the right times, for listening and trying to save me from potential heartache, for getting to know people important to me, for getting frsutrated on my behalf and for being there..

To Geeta, for calling me daily, getting happy and sad for me, for fighting for my blue blanket, for sharing movie dates with me, for getting embarrassed with me, for travelling to Commonwealth station at night cuz you knew it meant a lot...

To Shivani, for listening, for getting angry, for making me egg and cheese, for always cooking when you stay over, for watching 'colic' with me, for painting the 'V' and helping me with damage control...

To Sandhya, for always trying to get me to eat, for worrying, for listening, for traumatising me about my brother, for sharing years of friendship, for calling to check on me under your block during the lightning...

To Aarthi, for appearing at the right moments, for taking me out on a random lunch date, for making me spill my heart and listening to my depression, for understanding and telling me what to do, for making me laugh, for sharing my joys and tears...

To Siew Wei, for coming into my life, for undertanding me, for knowing exactly how I feel, for the tears you share with me, for getting so frustrated at my helplessness, for wanting the best for me..

I love you all many many much!!

I wish the year end had taken a different turn... I still wish there would be a miracle.. I wish stars and planets didn't interfere with my life so much.. I wish I could leave ...

I hope the year ahead is better, less tears , less pain, less troubles..
I hope for a job so I can still support Buyan...
I hope to leave this place..
I hope to turn cold and indifferent and numb...
I hope to forget how to love...
I hope to be more antisocial and withdrawn...