Orchard

I have decided to put up long overdue pics of our night out at Orchard where we planned to see the lights but ended up getting stuck in the rain.. :)

At NYDC
The lovebirdsThe three of us
We were very nice to himUntil the story of the 108 coconuts came outTurkish delights

Haha Karthik's adventure caught on videoSai's M&M's dream come trueAt the M&M house.. soo pretty..Karthik's photography skills.. He successfully managed to take a picture of us with the ballerina, without the ballerina.. Haiz..

Thanks

I'm exhausted and aching from top to toe.. I really hope all this pays off in the end and everything turns out perfect :)

I am really smiling inside.. Thanks to a few special people around me.. I don't think I need to mention anyone in particular.. I bet you all know who you are.. :)
- The one who made me feel so special two nights ago with the sincerity and affection
- The one who calls me and tells me to stay at the shelter so she can join me for lunch later
- The one who messages me telling me she wants to meet up one day to take me for a movie treat even I have forgotten about
- The one who volunteers to dig out passes for me to go to the Night Safari although I hardly even keep in touch
- The one who joins me and makes a fool out of herself at any shelter, even if it means it's in front of a live audience
- The one who makes me lunch cuz I'm hungry
- The one who insists I get a good lunch and not something simple
- The one who checks on me each time I'm out and ensures im home safe and sound
- The one who trusted me enough to allow me to do threading for her cuz I was bored
You guys rock.. I have other incidences I haven't written here but I love you all.. *Muakz*

My darling is upset... I wish I could do something to make things better for you, babe.. I tried but there is nothing else I can do but join you and wait with you till we get a response.. Whatever it is, please don't ever cry again and don't let this affect you so badly, k? It may seem like there is only rain now, but the Sun has to come out sooner or later and then you will see your rainbow, alright? I'm here with you throughout so don't ever crumble.. Cheer up and smile.. :)

Sometimes I wish I could just stop dreaming and wishing and hoping and waiting.. I do...

The wind that fills your sails

"I wanna be the wind that fills your sails Be the hand that lifts your veil Be the moon that moves your tides And the sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheel that never rusts And be the spark that lights you up All that you been dreaming of and more So much more I wanna be your everything When you wake up I'd be the first thing you see And when it gets dark you can reach out to me I'd cherish your words And I'd finish your thoughts And I'll be your compass when you get lost"

Beautiful, isn't it.. The lyrics just make you smile.. The magic sensation created by the power of love.. Love.. What exactly is it? I tried to understand it.. Asked some people.. The responses were pretty different..

B****N* : Love is...My family and friends..
V**E*** : Love is the feeling or emotion we have towards that person we care about, towards whom we always wanna see smiling.. The root of all relations...
V**A* : Faces of people come to mind..It is love, happiness, pain, sadness, joy, care, concern, kindness all in one.. Trust is another important thing..
S**I**L* : It is about waking up to message you back at this time (Time Check: 3.45am) :)

All the responses are pretty different but they all have one thing in common..They involve strong positive emotions.. Emotions that make you want to give, to do anything to make the other person smile, to want to be the reason to bring sunshine into that one person's life, to care about someone, to want to take care of someone and ensure that nothing can hurt that person, to want to be able to take away any kind of pain or discomfort from that person cuz you cannot take it seeing them cry.. To want to wake up each morning to their thoughts, to thinking of them each night before you close your eyes, to spending time with them in your dreams.. To wanting to make that dream a reality by working towards spending a lifetime together..

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.. There is a security in it.. You know it's safe with them... When you hear them say your name, you feel this sensation within you that you cannot describe..It just stands out from everyone else.. Love is when someone hurts you but you don't yell back at them cuz you don't want to hurt them back..It is giving someone the power to affect you with the tiniest things they say.. Giving them control over your thoughts and feelings.. Love is the one thing that makes you smile even when you're really exhausted.. At the end of a hard day when you can't even feel your muscles move anymore, when nothing seems to be right, and you just want to give up and then the thought of that person crosses your mind, and you smile.. I guess that is love.. Despite distance and lack of communication and stuff and you end up missing them but yet nothing changes in the way you feel.. When weeks and months pass and you don't know what's happening, yet you feel the same each time you hear from them or feel your heart skip a beat when their name is mentioned, I guess that's love.. When time and distance are not factors.. When everything seems negative but you decide to stay positive and hold on.. When you feel something deep down inside that nobody else would... I guess that's love.. When you meet so many people each day and get to know how nice other people can be, yet your heart still goes back to the thoughts of that one person.. When you see people walking along, when you see people in relationships, when you don't look at them with envy for being with the ones they love, but you actually smile thinking of that one person in your mind, I guess that's love.. Love is not needing to be there, it's knowing that somewhere they are around and in some way they touched you in a way nobody else possibly could.. I guess that's when you know you are in love..
No summers high
No warm july
No harvest moon to light one tender august night
No autumn breeze
No falling leaves
No even time for birds to fly to southern skies
No libra sun
No halloween
No giving thanks to all the christmas joy you bring
But what it is
Though old so new
To fill your heart like no three words could ever do.
Magical, isn't it? Oh well, I think I have been rambling.. Somethings may not make sense cuz it's alot of my own thoughts that I have written.. Things running through my mind.. so I guess it may not make sense.. :) anyway it's all your fault that i started this post!! And now it's got me thinking... Haha

Chipmunks!

Went to catch Alvin & the Chipmunks today. All I can say is, Sooooooooo Cute!!!!!! Oh my god, they were super adorable and Theodore was my favourite! The way he keeps snuggling up to Dave for affection and stuff, so sweet.. And their songs were so cute too. I really enjoyed the movie.. They look different from the cartoon but it's so nice to see a movie taken of the cartoon that you used to love as a kid that is no longer shown here.. And the Christmas song was the best.. Actually I would have liked the first song as well if not for the two sitting on either side of me who decided to traumatise me by imitating chipmunk voices in the theatre.. Haha.. Aiyo... It's so annoying that I can't seem to find the video of the 'hula hoop' song .. aargh! But I have the song alone minus the video, though.. For now..Here goes.. :)

Next I want to watch Mr Magorium's Wonder emporium :) Everybody seems to be giving me 'that look' when I suggest that movie and tell them the storyline.. Haiz... Wasted..

Anyway, felt liberated today after like being cooped up at home and all the baby sitting and all.. Felt nice being so carefree and able to go out and have fun.. I missed that.. Thank you guys for being part of the beautiful evening I had today.. :)

It's almost Christmas.. Soon December will end and it will be January... Im scared to think of what Jan is going to bring.. I dare not.. But I can't help wishing either.. Aargh!

Just a dream, darn it!!

I had a really sweet dream last night.. So pleasant that I was so reluctant to wake up.. It was such a pity that it was only a dream.. Haiz.. Otherwise it would have been perfect.. Such an impromptu request by the person whom I would least expect such an invitation from, also the person whom I would love to have such an invitation from.. And the offer made after that was also extremely sweet.. Haiz.. So depressing...

Anyway, ended up going to watch Songs of the Sea again yesterday, with the family this time... and it was as beautiful as ever.. :) Took a walk around the place after that and took Neelu to Pet Safari before finally heading home.. It was a pleasant day .. After a long time, I was pretty happy although I was dead beat.. I flopped onto my bed the minute I got home and knocked out!

On another note, Ms Vickneshvary Krishnan has said that she would like to marry me.. Haha.. Yes i still have that sms for proof *muahahaha* (she is sooo gonna kill me for this) :) Dun worry babe, I know I'm definitely the sweetest person you've found.. I'll think about this, k? Haha

Ok anyway got to go settle a few things now.. Laterz...

Ouch

I think i should go get a surgery for the wrist.. Aargh.. Ahmish has twisted it while playing and now it's killing..

Saturday morning rambling

I can't believe I never caught Bee Movie.. I'm very sad already.. Haiz.. Should have taken Neelu for it the day she stayed over... Oh well, now I just hope I manage to make it for Alvin & the Chipmunks.. I grew up watching that and I remember how Lavin used to have the video for it and we used to crash at his place during primary school days and plant ourselves on the sofa and sing along to the songs in the movie.. But that was the cartoon version.. Im really curious to see how this has been taken.. And I remember how I used to adore Theodore for his innocence and the way he used to stammer when he spoke.. Oh well.. I hope I get to catch it sometime soon..

Vaarsha and family are flying off to India tonight. Got to go to the airport tonight to send them off.. I'm going to miss that kid.. Going to Novena again in a bit after a huuuuge break... It's about time I went back.. Miss going there actually and our chill-out sessions after that, right Sai? Hopefully Geeta makes it as well..

After a long long time, I spoke to Superhero yesterday.. Felt really nice catching up on stuff, being able to share everything that has been happening and hearing his opinions on them.. Knowing that he isn't going to sugarcoat anything but give me true honest opinions.. Certain that he would have my welfare in mind and give me the guy's perspective on things.. Thanks for calling.. It's been way too long since we had such a nice long serious chat.. :)

Anyway, heart has been pretty heavy for a bit.. I think I need a peaceful prayer session at Novena to sort my head a bit.. I shall get going.. Have a great weekend!!

You, you, you & you..

Is is so easy to throw someone out? Is it so easy to run off? Is it so easy to just let a friend go? How about the memories? I never found it easy.. Never used to be able to completely let go.. Always found some part of the person coming back and always saw myself being reluctant to completely throw everything out? But it's sad that that isn't always the case.. We really feel it.. A tad bit too much.. When everything falls into place and realisation hits and we see where it has all come to, the tears that are shed are from our eyes.. I wonder if you'd know.. Whatever it is, we would always want the best for you..

You. I miss you.. I miss having you around.. I miss having you to tell everything to.. I miss how you knew me so well.. I miss how you showed you cared.. I miss how you made me feel special... I miss how you made me laugh.. I miss how you encouraged me and stood by me.. I miss how you made me eat.. I miss how you would call me each time you were free.. I miss you.. But it's sad that everything has changed. Too much. I suppose I should too...

Sometimes I wonder why I don't let myself do what I think I perhaps should.. Why I keep telling you what I do.. And why I ponder after.. I wonder...

Are you for real? Or is this a mirage? Am I visualising a possibility or am i being led to my fall, again? How do I know? How do I know it's real? I wish I could believe everything but I find myself holding back.. Tell me...

Triple surprise

Finally the party is over.. After days of slaving away in preparation for it.. I do admit, there were disappointments and misunderstandings and sadness in between but the whole thing went well.. So cute the way my aunty had no clue the party was for her as well and was keenly helping me out with the plans and keeping it from my mum.. The look of shock on her face when the kids ran out with her gift.. And the smiles that broke onto their faces when they ripped open the paper bags and found each gift inside that had some memory to them.. I think my uncle was really taken aback by the pretty cake we got them for their anniversary as well.. And how we worried the food wouldn't be enough but they all were stuffed and couldn't move by the time they finished their meal..

Neelu and I slaved alot for today but at the end of it all, it was so worthwhile.. The madness before the party was indescribable.. Shopping for last minute items, carrying so many grocery bags in the scorching heat of the sun, coming all the way to our block only to realise both the stupid lifts were out of order and we had to climb the whole ten flights of stairs home.. Once we crawled home, we couldn't even rest a bit since we were short of time.. The cutting and chopping and on the spot invention of dishes was crazy.. The pasta that cheated our feelings.. haha.. The pile of potatoes that never seemed to get smaller, the chilli that seemed to want to burn your taste buds with the spiciness, the honeydew sago that didnt have the honeydew, the mushrooms that splattered oil from the pan at us, it was all madness.. The highlight was when Neelu unknowingly scooped an entire ladleful of boiling bubbling gravy onto my already damaged wrist.. I think I saw the stars, the moon and the universe all at once! Haha poor girl felt so guilty that she started looking for ice cubes to soothe the burn. Poor thing.. :) Anyway I'm just glad everyone had a good time and they were all smiles when they went back.. I don't think they were expecting so much planning when I called them up.. They were pretty taken aback. Haha..

My favourite shot..This is a bad shot...Anniversary cakeBirthday cakeThe best aunt and uncleThe surprised sistersAfter they successfully managed to break the knife while cutting the cake.. ;)I told them to look at the camera and not the mirror behind..HaizThis was her idea.. Not mine.. Really...

*haiz*

I wish things didn't screw up the way they did on Saturday night after Sai's party and before Geeta's party.. So much planning and effort and excitement went into that one and it's so sad that it turned out the way it did..The amount of time we spent on the phone discussing this, the running around from one corner of the world to the next, the planning, the decisions we made, the thinking... I'm not justifying our actions by saying we were right to do what we did or anything.. It wasn't, I admit but at that moment there seemed to be no other way.. We really didn't know how else to react in that situation.. You know we get scared and have never been exposed to such things and are very very sheltered when it comes to all this.. We could have handled the situation differently on our part, I know, but all we ask is that you just spare a little thought to how we feel about it.. If you really felt it was solely our mistake, then we are sorry but I just wish you knew how much we both wanted that day to be perfect for you and how much we were looking forward to seeing your reaction when you opened the box and took out the stuff inside or what you would have said when you saw the mango cake and all.. Oh well, I just pray that you will cool down and be willing to listen to our side of it.. Otherwise, Im afraid of the outcome.. I have never seen you react that way towards us before and that hurt big time..It felt like someone else that we didn't know and I really hope that anger has subsided..

I'm tired of planning for this birthday party.. It's nice when everyone shares your enthusiasm and does their part to help and splits the work and not to mention, the cost as well.. But right now, everyone seems to just take it for granted that I would do it.. It's not that I mind spending or planning.. I don't.. I like doing it, but nobody seems to understand that I'm still jobless and resources are running low and my mum isn't working either and that once my savings are gone, I don't know what to do.. Forget the money.. Even the running around.. It would have been nice if someone helped.. Neelu is nice enough, but she is still little and there is nothing too great that I can ask her to do.. My brother isn't helping, neither are the adults who should.. The ones who are volunteering are the ones whom the party is for, who don't know that information yet.. Aargh.. And there is still so much to do in terms of food and stuff.. I can't wait for tomorrow to be over and then it will be Shiv's party but that would be fun since we all get to work together with the theme.. :) Yay!

I'm confused.. Is this really for the better? Is this what it was supposed to be? Is this a mutual decision or a one way thing? How do I know it's sincerely coming from you? How can I be sure of all these things? What am I to do if i'm asked? What do I say about all this? Right now, Im saying nothing. Nothing at all.. In a month, I don't know what will happen...

Sailu and Geeta

Yesterday was super super tiring.. First was Sailu darling's birthday.. We did up the Scavenger Hunt List and made some changes to the powerpoint slides and ran out of the house at about four.. Once at the chalet, we were assigned to do the balloons and trust me, I never wanna look at another balloon again for a long long time.. And my wrist is severely damaged.. Haha.. It was a good thing Vic and I were both feeling useless together and not knowing many people cuz that let us hang out in the room and snap pictures and be silly. :) Sai looked gorgeous in her pink gown and blue dress and the party was a blast.. The games kept us entertained as we watched people going around trying to get a lipstick stain on their cheeks and snoop around the floor in search of ants.. It was really fun and kept us laughing.. Then met Siva and Vjay also after eons and it felt soo good catching up and stuff.. we chit chatted till about 3.30am and then decided we should leave since most of her friends were no longer there.. So Vjay hailed us a cab and sent us off and we made our way to Hougang for Geeta's surprise...We reached Ammuma's place at about four plus.. This place was our location for the surprise as Geeta lived just a block away and it allowed us to decorate the venue as well.. The place was so beautifully decked in purple-an arch of purple balloons, a curtain of purple streamers, purple backdrops and a purple carpet for her to walk in through.. Soo pretty.. All were awake all night and Vic and I couldnt resist and dozed off for ten minutes and the others were so sweet not to wake us.. They tiptoed out to the kitchen and went to make sandwiches and milo for all.. And I ended up waking up to Vicknesh stuffing a sandwich in my mouth.. They were all so sweet. And it was so nice all working together to plan this surprise for her.. We made our way to the lift landing of her block to have a run thru with the min-cooper that was supposed to lead her to Rajieef who would then blindfold her and lead her to the house for the surprise... It was so hilarious when we were all play acting and stuff.. Nobody could keep their voices down.. And we kept getting weird stares from passers by who were pretty startled by our blindfolding acts..

After one run through, we went back and waited while Shivani and Divyah Chechi went to get the flower petals and sticky notes ready .. We stayed back to confirm Rajieef's entrance and so unfortunately he lost his wallet at Sentosa and so he could not come.. We had to change the plans and it ended up that Vic and I had to pounce on her and kidnap her instead.. So nervously we waited for the alarm clock to wake her and for her to listen to the cassette tape and follow the clues.. However she proved a really tough person to surprise as she could not be awoken with 3 alarm clocks.. AIYO!! And we failed to think that she may not dutifully follow our plans and clues and instead she ended up just collecting the clues.. So things were a mess and we were so unprepared and standing in front of the lift having a run through and about to fling a shawl and blindfold over Vicknesh who was pretending to be the birthday girl when the lift doors opened and she stepped out right in front of us.. We were all in stunned silence for some time, all not knowing how to react and waiting for instructions.. Eventually we just kidnapped her anyway and brought her to the house where she was surprised by the deco and the room full of relatives who took the effort to turn up so early in the morning and the spongebob edition of monopoly that awaited her.. :) Haha.. the whole thing was hilarious.. So many mess ups and miscommunications but it was so fun and worthwhile..

Anyway Geeta baby, hope you enjoyed your surprise and so sorry for planting three annoying alarm clocks in your room :) Haha..

Tears to Shed

I'm very sad today.. Feels like someone sucked the air out of me... Well it was meant to happen sometime I guess.. At least I feel more certain now..

I really felt sad watching this video this time...

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the sun it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

"I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheeks and die on your lips..."

Olive

Have I mentioned that cameras aren't my best friends.. Grr!!

Or that I have a very natural flair for saying the most ridiculous things when a camera is ready.. Aiyo..

And by the way, to you both, Olives could be good for confidence, you know.. I may have been right... *winkz*

I shall say no more, lest I reveal stuff that could make me feel extremely spastic.

Weekend with family

The weekend was a rather eventful one.. Went for this Deepavali show at Hougang on Saturday cuz my cousins were singing and I must say they were so cute.. Both went shopping for similar outfits and stuff and really looked so gorgeous.. I have a video of it that isn't so clear.. Stupid phone.. I'm sure Vicknesh has a video of a better quality.. :)

Pretty pretty.. I wonder who did their make up *winkz*
Vicknesh's masterpieceFourSisters

That was pretty fun.. Meeting up with them again.. And Vicknesh, Neelu and I had our own amusement with the doorgifts that we were struggling to open :) Haha all in all, it was pretty good.. Girls, next year, it's our show, k? :)

Yesterday after a long time I met the little ones.. Been meeting Neelu pretty often but circumstances make it pretty hard to see the other kids around.. So yesterday I was sooo happy when I had Vaarsha and Ahmish yell "Rashmi Chechiiiiiii" and come running to me.. Had some fun playing with the kids.. Twister and Charades and Speller.. They were so cute.. The way Ahmish decsribed Mr Bean and Hippopotamus for charades and the way Rethish and Neelu were crawling all over the mat for twister and how Vaarsha's actions for peacock looked anything but peacock-like.. haha.. I really missed them and I can't wait for them to stay over!!!

SmotheredCrazy boysTwister fun