I want.......

You know how sometimes you feel so lost? Feel like your existence is utterly pointless and you don't know exactly what it is that you want to do? Where you just want to get away somewhere, a sort of quiet retreat that your heart yearns for? Haiz... I'm just so lost about everything.. It's like I want to get away..I think the exam stress is getting to me, not to mention certain people in my life who seem to display extremely selfish behaviour that gets to me.. I just don't understand why I'm always caught in such situations..

I want to go somewhere really quiet. Where I feel separated from the busy world around me.. Somewhere with few people.. where i can feel the breeze blowin against my face, where the wind tosses children's hair, where the sun kisses kids' cheeks till they turn a rosy pink, where I can watch the waves crash against the rocks, where I can just sit down in the midst of nature without a worry in the world with a couple of comforting things around me like a good book, a cold drink and maybe some chocolates and music..aah, purrfffect!

Oh well, soon I suppose.. Can't wait to get these papers done and over with...

The sweetest lyrics ever

This translation of lyrics of the song Piyu Bole from the movie Parineeta is the sweetest thing I've set my eyes on.. Such child-like imagery used to depict the emotions of the lovers.. :)

You are mine. Say you're mine.

F:The lover said something, so did the lass
...I do not know, alas!
My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,
but why it sways, I do not know.

M:Matters of the heart,
the heart of the matter...

F:..Should always be locked in the heart.

M:My lips are sealed,
with bolts and keys..

F:..but through my eyes
my love is revealed.

The lover said something, so did the lass
I do not know what they said, alas!
My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,
but why it sways, I do not know.

M:The lover said something, so did the lass
I do not know what they said, alas!
My heart sways gently, ever so slow,
but why it sways, I do not know.

F:I once asked a river,
Where do you scurry to, silly?
Far is your sweetheart's dwelling,
why do you spiral hither and thither?
A trifle bashful,
a wee bit fearful..
..she skipped, she tripped, she leaped.
All she cared was to rush to her lover...
just like me, my dear!

F:My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,
but why it sways, I do not know.
The lover said something, so did the lass
I do not know what they said, alas!

M:My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,
but why it sways, I do not know.

I once asked a cloud, dense with rain,
Where are you floating to, silly?
Can't you see this parched landscape?
Descend on it regally.
She shivered a little, quaked somemore,
she yawned a mighty, mighty roar.
Then she poured on me, a rain of love
..just like you, my dear!

The lover said something, so did the lass
I do not know what they said, alas!
My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,

but why it sways, I do not know.

M&F:The lover said something, so did the lass
I do not know what they said, alas!
My heart sways gently, ever so slowly,
but why it sways, I do not know.

But You Didn't

This was a poem pretty close to my heart when I was in Secondary school.. I still remember how the teacher read it to us and when we reached the last line, everyone was silent. some of us teared. This poem is about a girl reminiscing the memories shared with her lover, which is the only thing she has left of him since she lost him during the Vietnam War..

But You Didn't

Remember the time you lent me
your car and I dented the fender?
I thought you'd kill me...
But you didn't.
Remember the time I spilled coke
on your new rug?
I thought you'd kill me...
But you didn't.
Remember the time I forgot to tell
you the dance was formal and you
came in jeans?
I thought you'd hate me...
But you didn't.
Remember the countless times you'd
try to be serious and I’d giggle?
I thought you’d leave me...
But you didn't.
Remember all the times I'd flirt
with other guys just to make you
jealous - and you were?
I thought you'd drop me...
But you didn't.
There were so many things
you did to put up with me, to
keep me happy, to love me. And
there were so many things I
wanted to say to you after you
returned front Vietnam...
But you didn't.

Let everyone know what they mean to you, how you feel about them and so on. Never keep anything in, because you'd never know when it could be too late to do so...

Superficiality

You know how it is when sometimes you start wondering why life was unfair when you see your friends having supposedly the best lifestyle that you could only dream of.. When you see kids so much younger walking around dressed in all the latest brands and carrying the latest gadgets in the market and you start feeling really miserable... When you start admiring your friends for their tiny waists and flawless skins and silky hair and wonder why God never thought you deserved these things.. When you see girls throwing a fuss when their boyfriends come a little late than the time promised, although they drive down to fetch the girl, when all you ever do is ride the bus or train and several cab rides are enough to burn a deep hole in your pockets.. When your idea of hangin out with your friends is an outing to some fast food restaurant to just talk and catch up while some people have the capacity to visit all the hottest nightspots and the top restaurants and stuff.. we often find ourselves asking why, why, why? We always question... Nothing ever seems to be enough.. When would we ever be content.. To quote Oscar Wilde, "We live, I regret to say, in an age of surfaces.."

It's something that got me thinking when one of my friends recently mentioned about how someone she knew was always upset with everything and kept looking at the flaws without realising what a whole lot we have to be thankful for.. Each day is a miracle.. Each sunrise, to be thankful for.. Each dawn a new beginning bursting with events and surprises to unfold-some pleasant, some unpleasant, but each a learning experience..

I have met guys who take pleasure in putting their girlfriends down, commenting on their sudden gain in weight or how a top seems to show their slightly rounder tummy or how her hair doesnt seem to stay as nicely in place or how she doesnt seem to dress to his liking.. How is this an issue, i don't understand.. If you fell for the girl, her character, the person she is and such inner qualities, then why in the world would her appearance matter to you.. wouldnt you be happier with someone who is so beautiful on the inside that her natural beauty will shine through her smile, rather than a bombshell that you could probably use as a trophy girlfriend..

We so often tend to look at the superficial details of things that we fail to realise there is more to life than mere looks and money and popularity.. People and relationships matter more.. These are things that stay, that make differences to your life, that last a lifetime... A friend wrote in her blog, an entry dedicated to her Dad who had passed on 2 years ago.. It makes you realise that time is too short.. life is too unpredictable.. Anything can happen anytime to anyone.. It's more worthwhile spending our time on Earth embracing the beauty of things around us, appreciating the lives that touched us, holding on to those who mean the most to us, letting them know how special they are..

There was once long ago that I came across a little passage from a book that I copied and kept close to my heart.. It's simple but it means something to me...

LIFE JUST ISN'T
Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating or haven't dated at all.
It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you.
It's not about your shoes or your hair or the colour of your skin, or where you live or go to school.
In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes or colleges that accept you or not.
Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepeted you are.
Life just isn't about that...

But life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about how you feel about yourself.
It's about trust, happiness and compassion.
It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love.
Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence.
It's about what you say and what you mean.
It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have.
Most of all, it's about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.
These choices are what life's about.

The beginnings

Oh well... I never thought I'd ever resort to blogging since I'm so particular about my privacy and my life and stuff.. But I guess it comes to a point when you feel sometimes its easier letting out what you actually feel instead of bottling it all in.. And sometimes its easier to just say what you feel instead of waiting for someone to give you their opinions on that matter which would somehow unconsciously sway your very own judgement of the situation.. Lately a lot of things have been turning out that way, where I have friends who actually listen but later end up giving me advice or telling me I'm doing things wrong..I mean, if I felt I was wrong, I wouldn't be doing something like that and I somehow don't think it's fair that you come in from nowhere and tell me my judgements are wrong and then i end up spending the next three days wondering if you were possibly right and I start feeling horrible.. It's been a pretty annoyingly difficult cycle.. So well, I have decided to just blog it out.. Anyways it's time for school.. Laterz.. :)