Haha came across this clip that a student from NJ posted on youtube.. Never knew they videotaped our moments of embarrassment with the teacher stressing out at the rehearsal.. I burst out laughing when i saw the familiar scoldings he gives when he sees the students confused.. Taken for Nj dance rehearsal when we went down to help them pick up the steps for the same dance he taught us previously.. But as you can see, his own students are lost ourselves.. *winkz*
Saturday, June 30, 2007
My saturday
My chocolate cravings have started again.. Aargh!! And it's so annoying that Hershey's cookies and cream has become so hard to find nowadays..
Anyway, had a pretty eventful day today.. Since dinner plans didn't take place today, I had nothing on in particular, so after church met mum and went to the shop.. We did some sales, had lunch and waited for Prem Uncle's call to meet him at the Tandoori Restaurant with Rebecca.. Since I had nothing to do and was going to rot at home anyway, followed mum.. It was pretty interesting actually watching the discussions between Prem Uncle(who kept calling me 'aunty' in every sentence and who kept insisting that each time I took my phone , it was to respond to my boyfriend), Rebecca(who surprised me first by telling me she learns belly dancing and also by informing me that she studies at SIM too), and Parthi( who took some kind of interest in patting me on the head each time he moved).. These people were a bunch of clowns on the loose.. So time kind of flew by.. Oh and that place sells the best 'jilabies'.. I never take jilabies normally cuz I don't like them but these are the only ones i actually enjoy.. :)
Got dance tomorrow.. wonder how old the kids are going to be and I haven't even choreographed the dance yet.. Haha.. Very professional.. :) I just hope they give me slightly older kids.. Otherwise it's going to be pretty difficult.. Oh and my darling girls, prepare to do a repeat of 'Meharuba'.. Haha.. In our favourite costumes of all time.. *winkz*
I'm really tired and in extreme pains.. haiz.. Biogesic seems to have lost its effect on me.. Unfortunately..
Anyway, had a pretty eventful day today.. Since dinner plans didn't take place today, I had nothing on in particular, so after church met mum and went to the shop.. We did some sales, had lunch and waited for Prem Uncle's call to meet him at the Tandoori Restaurant with Rebecca.. Since I had nothing to do and was going to rot at home anyway, followed mum.. It was pretty interesting actually watching the discussions between Prem Uncle(who kept calling me 'aunty' in every sentence and who kept insisting that each time I took my phone , it was to respond to my boyfriend), Rebecca(who surprised me first by telling me she learns belly dancing and also by informing me that she studies at SIM too), and Parthi( who took some kind of interest in patting me on the head each time he moved).. These people were a bunch of clowns on the loose.. So time kind of flew by.. Oh and that place sells the best 'jilabies'.. I never take jilabies normally cuz I don't like them but these are the only ones i actually enjoy.. :)
Got dance tomorrow.. wonder how old the kids are going to be and I haven't even choreographed the dance yet.. Haha.. Very professional.. :) I just hope they give me slightly older kids.. Otherwise it's going to be pretty difficult.. Oh and my darling girls, prepare to do a repeat of 'Meharuba'.. Haha.. In our favourite costumes of all time.. *winkz*
I'm really tired and in extreme pains.. haiz.. Biogesic seems to have lost its effect on me.. Unfortunately..
Friday, June 29, 2007
Afraid
There are certain things that annoy me... I can be very patient but I do get a little annoyed by certain things..
Right now, I'm not angry cuz I don't know what exactly the reasons are and so I'm not jumping to conclusions but rather, giving things the benefit of the doubt.. But it's still disappointing that the basic act of getting back to me when I was expecting a response didn't seem important enough.. More so, cuz it wasn't just me who was waiting, but alot of others too..
Oh well.. I don't know what's going on and I'm afraid to think about it.. I'm going to stop trying and let things be cuz I'm scared of trying again..
On another note... I want to go Esplanade!!! Now I have gotten the mood to go already.. Grrr.. Wasted that our plans failed.. some other time I suppose :) Now that time is so limited, I keep trying to figure out when I can go to the zoo, shopping, Toys R Us, temples, Night Safari and stuff.. Sad la..
Right now, I'm not angry cuz I don't know what exactly the reasons are and so I'm not jumping to conclusions but rather, giving things the benefit of the doubt.. But it's still disappointing that the basic act of getting back to me when I was expecting a response didn't seem important enough.. More so, cuz it wasn't just me who was waiting, but alot of others too..
Oh well.. I don't know what's going on and I'm afraid to think about it.. I'm going to stop trying and let things be cuz I'm scared of trying again..
On another note... I want to go Esplanade!!! Now I have gotten the mood to go already.. Grrr.. Wasted that our plans failed.. some other time I suppose :) Now that time is so limited, I keep trying to figure out when I can go to the zoo, shopping, Toys R Us, temples, Night Safari and stuff.. Sad la..
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Scribbles
I have visions of me being suspended from a HDB flat's topmost floor with the possibility of falling to my death.. *shudders* That one sms freaked the hell out of me... 'It won't take me more than 2 hrs to drive down.....' Woah.. S-C-A-R-Y !!
ESA makes me feel very "un- glam" .. Haiz.. Safety boots and goggles with a nice pretty skirt is just a big NO NO.. But no choice.. Company regulations.. I cannot imagine the safety boots if i wear indian attire to work.. Sheesh!
Anyway, Zah is leaving in 3 days.. So sad.. She was always someone who was a call away .. And she actually got me Hershey's Sundae Pie and muffins when I met her.. So sweet right? Haiz.. Gonna miss you girl.. Hurry up and come back *hugz*
My Chechi came back , though.. Yay!! Had a nice long telephone convo.. Missed her so bad and I really hope at least this time we get some time to hang out and do more together than just visit a museum to appreciate 50,000 toys in less than 50 minutes.. That is not happening again.. (especially not in a punjabi suit!!!)
Anyway, hope your Batam trip is exciting tomorrow *winkz* I know you can't wait.. Haha.. Oh well anyway, gonna go sleep now.. Or mum will shoo me away from the room.. Nightey night..
ESA makes me feel very "un- glam" .. Haiz.. Safety boots and goggles with a nice pretty skirt is just a big NO NO.. But no choice.. Company regulations.. I cannot imagine the safety boots if i wear indian attire to work.. Sheesh!
Anyway, Zah is leaving in 3 days.. So sad.. She was always someone who was a call away .. And she actually got me Hershey's Sundae Pie and muffins when I met her.. So sweet right? Haiz.. Gonna miss you girl.. Hurry up and come back *hugz*
My Chechi came back , though.. Yay!! Had a nice long telephone convo.. Missed her so bad and I really hope at least this time we get some time to hang out and do more together than just visit a museum to appreciate 50,000 toys in less than 50 minutes.. That is not happening again.. (especially not in a punjabi suit!!!)
Anyway, hope your Batam trip is exciting tomorrow *winkz* I know you can't wait.. Haha.. Oh well anyway, gonna go sleep now.. Or mum will shoo me away from the room.. Nightey night..
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Back to work
Horrible weekend .. Haiz.. Never have I felt so sick in my life before.. I'm so glad it's over and I'm thankful that I'm left only with severe gastric pains and cough.. That is so much more bearable than the rest, especially the horrible migraines that never went away...
Oh well, anyway today was another day at work, another day where I just sat and watched the clock most of the day .. Work is getting pretty tiring.. I wish the computer and stuff would be set up a bit faster and that I had to walk through the shopfloors a little less.. :) Then things may be a lot more pleasant and I wouldn't end up having myself stuck in awkward situations entertaining the staff who come by for signatures... If I thought last year's episode with a certain someone from the staff getting hold of my handphone number to declare his love to me was traumatising, I think today was a bit scarier cuz this was face to face.. Never have I been faced with someone who pesters me to date him in person, who keeps showering me with the weirdest of compliments, who insists I must have a boyfriend, who makes me so uncomfortable that I get so conscious walking across him, who happens to be married but thinks it's okay to carry on with his game, who requested the strangest and most traumatising of things, who refused to leave my table till he got his signature despite knowing he wouldn't get it for the next hour as everyone other than me was out of the office for a meeting.. Seriously.. The place never ceases to amaze me...
Can't wait for the weekend though.. I want to just slack.. Tomorrow should be pretty eventful.. Meeting Zah after such a looong time..So much to catch up on and it could be a farewell before she flies off on Saturday.. Then if time permits I get to meet the other 2 nuts in my life, Sasi and Vas.. That would be an excellent ending to my day if it goes according to plan.. And then Saturday may be something to look forward to as well if everything carries on like what it's supposed to be.. Oh well, we shall see ...
Anyway I'm off to bed.. Goodnight!
Oh well, anyway today was another day at work, another day where I just sat and watched the clock most of the day .. Work is getting pretty tiring.. I wish the computer and stuff would be set up a bit faster and that I had to walk through the shopfloors a little less.. :) Then things may be a lot more pleasant and I wouldn't end up having myself stuck in awkward situations entertaining the staff who come by for signatures... If I thought last year's episode with a certain someone from the staff getting hold of my handphone number to declare his love to me was traumatising, I think today was a bit scarier cuz this was face to face.. Never have I been faced with someone who pesters me to date him in person, who keeps showering me with the weirdest of compliments, who insists I must have a boyfriend, who makes me so uncomfortable that I get so conscious walking across him, who happens to be married but thinks it's okay to carry on with his game, who requested the strangest and most traumatising of things, who refused to leave my table till he got his signature despite knowing he wouldn't get it for the next hour as everyone other than me was out of the office for a meeting.. Seriously.. The place never ceases to amaze me...
Can't wait for the weekend though.. I want to just slack.. Tomorrow should be pretty eventful.. Meeting Zah after such a looong time..So much to catch up on and it could be a farewell before she flies off on Saturday.. Then if time permits I get to meet the other 2 nuts in my life, Sasi and Vas.. That would be an excellent ending to my day if it goes according to plan.. And then Saturday may be something to look forward to as well if everything carries on like what it's supposed to be.. Oh well, we shall see ...
Anyway I'm off to bed.. Goodnight!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Sick...
I hate falling sick, especially this way when it comes down to a point where I can't even get myself to do anything.. I fell this sick one year ago, also when I joined ESA.. Haha.. Nose is so blocked, cough is killing me.. Chest hurts so badly from all the coughing.. Temperature rose pretty high early in the morning.. Couldn't get myself to move to look for panadol and didn't feel good disturbing mum or grandma to help cuz mum just had her wisdom tooth surgically removed and grandma was not feeling too good either so i tried to wait for it to subside by forcing myself to get back to sleep.. That didn't work.. Finally, my mum woke up to realise I was feeling terrible and touched my forehead and almost flipped.. Oh well, horrible feeling.. Really.. Whole body aching so badly and the cough was making it worse and the fever brought about a migraine as well.. Finally went to see the doctor and the fever has subsided now.. I just hope I recover by tomorrow.. If it doesn't go off by Monday, I got to go back for a blood test to confirm it isn't dengue.. Haiz.. Cannot afford to miss work.. Got transfers to settle..
And because of the fever, I ended up missing meeting up with Vic and Selva today.. And it's so disappointing cuz I was really looking forward to it.. Aargh.. Been so long since I saw them last.. And I feel so bad now cancelling out on them cuz I know they were looking forward to it as well.. Thanks gal, for understanding when I called you this morning.. Will seeya soon, k?
I miss my friends.. And Sasi darling, I meant to meet you on your birthday and now it's been a week.. And it's such horrible luck we both have to fall sick at the same time.. Next week, k? I need to meet you.. :)
And I want to go out.. Meant to take the kids out for Shrek 3 since it's holidays for them.. But they have cheated me and managed to get the CD and all 3 have already watched it.. Aargh.. I wanna watch!!! Oh well, let's see how it goes, I suppose..
Anyway got to go now.. Better get some sleep.. Very drowsy...
And because of the fever, I ended up missing meeting up with Vic and Selva today.. And it's so disappointing cuz I was really looking forward to it.. Aargh.. Been so long since I saw them last.. And I feel so bad now cancelling out on them cuz I know they were looking forward to it as well.. Thanks gal, for understanding when I called you this morning.. Will seeya soon, k?
I miss my friends.. And Sasi darling, I meant to meet you on your birthday and now it's been a week.. And it's such horrible luck we both have to fall sick at the same time.. Next week, k? I need to meet you.. :)
And I want to go out.. Meant to take the kids out for Shrek 3 since it's holidays for them.. But they have cheated me and managed to get the CD and all 3 have already watched it.. Aargh.. I wanna watch!!! Oh well, let's see how it goes, I suppose..
Anyway got to go now.. Better get some sleep.. Very drowsy...
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Saying goodbye
Horrid day...
Vaarsha's grandpa passed away this morning.. Early in the morning and we couldn't not go to work.. Had to drop by the office and stay the day there.. That is another story altogether.. My second day at work and I end up stoning most of the day again.. Then just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the manager comes to brief me and give me 'exciting' news.. The company had to start off a new committee to take on the responsibility of ensuring that safety measures in the company and relevant trainings and medical examinations of the staff was properly taken care of.. And I get the responsibilty of approving transfers of workers within departments after confirming that they have completed the requirements.. I almost fell off my chair cuz the responsibility is scary and I'm just temporary and the slightest mistake I make could have serious consequences.. I'm really not liking the sound of it.. I so much rather do filing or something like that.. Haiz.. My luck is always against me.. I don't even know anything about environmental health and safety.. Haha.. Oh well..
On a more serious note, we went for the funeral after work.. I really don't like going for funerals as I get very very uncomfortable and restless and go very quiet.. I haven't really gone for any after my Dad.. I did go, for my friends when I knew it might make a difference, but it took a lot to go.. Cuz everything comes back and I'm scared to go through those emotions.. I haven't been in the midst of a funeral after my Dad.. The only two funerals I have attended in the last 5 years, was cuz I felt I really had to and even then, I left quickly.. Today was different.. On one hand, it was sad, cuz he was a really nice man.. I don't really know him well and have never really spoken to him but I do know enough to conclude how nice he can be.. The way he took his gold chain and gave to his granddaughter a few days ago telling her how he had a feeling he wouldn't be around to see her wedding and that he wanted her to use the chain.. That was really touching.. And to make matters worse, his wife only arrived tonight from a holiday, oblivious to what was awaiting her at home.. That must have been absolutley painful.. I didn't know what I could say to my aunty to console her seeing her Dad lying in the coffin.. Knowing only too well what would be running through her mind and watching her fight to be strong was just bringing everything back.. I went to wait under the block as I knew it would get harder to wait around.. I didn't want to go back in when they started chanting the prayers as I knew I wasn't ready.. I kept myself outside until my grandma needed me to get her bag for her.. I was just hoping she wouldn't ask me to go in.. But my aunty asked me if I could and at that moment, I couldn't say 'no' to her and so I went.. The chanting and the people and the smoke... It all came back.. The familiar prayers and stuff.. I quickly left but it was already hard.. Only Neelu, thankfully noticed the change in me and my movements after coming out of the house.. The rest were too distracted to notice.. I don't know what I would have told them if they had asked me.. Have to go back for the funeral tomorrow.. It's such a pity that a really nice soul like him had to be taken away but we do get comfort from the fact that he is in a better place now and rid of all his pain once and for all.. Whatever it is, I pray that everyone has the courage and strength tomorrow to go through the whole procedure.. It is never easy but it helps when you start believing that somewhere in someway, they still remain with us.. Some part of them still lingers around us.. And Acha, I know you are around as well.. In some way, I still feel you around.. And for that, I'm thankful :)
Vaarsha's grandpa passed away this morning.. Early in the morning and we couldn't not go to work.. Had to drop by the office and stay the day there.. That is another story altogether.. My second day at work and I end up stoning most of the day again.. Then just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the manager comes to brief me and give me 'exciting' news.. The company had to start off a new committee to take on the responsibility of ensuring that safety measures in the company and relevant trainings and medical examinations of the staff was properly taken care of.. And I get the responsibilty of approving transfers of workers within departments after confirming that they have completed the requirements.. I almost fell off my chair cuz the responsibility is scary and I'm just temporary and the slightest mistake I make could have serious consequences.. I'm really not liking the sound of it.. I so much rather do filing or something like that.. Haiz.. My luck is always against me.. I don't even know anything about environmental health and safety.. Haha.. Oh well..
On a more serious note, we went for the funeral after work.. I really don't like going for funerals as I get very very uncomfortable and restless and go very quiet.. I haven't really gone for any after my Dad.. I did go, for my friends when I knew it might make a difference, but it took a lot to go.. Cuz everything comes back and I'm scared to go through those emotions.. I haven't been in the midst of a funeral after my Dad.. The only two funerals I have attended in the last 5 years, was cuz I felt I really had to and even then, I left quickly.. Today was different.. On one hand, it was sad, cuz he was a really nice man.. I don't really know him well and have never really spoken to him but I do know enough to conclude how nice he can be.. The way he took his gold chain and gave to his granddaughter a few days ago telling her how he had a feeling he wouldn't be around to see her wedding and that he wanted her to use the chain.. That was really touching.. And to make matters worse, his wife only arrived tonight from a holiday, oblivious to what was awaiting her at home.. That must have been absolutley painful.. I didn't know what I could say to my aunty to console her seeing her Dad lying in the coffin.. Knowing only too well what would be running through her mind and watching her fight to be strong was just bringing everything back.. I went to wait under the block as I knew it would get harder to wait around.. I didn't want to go back in when they started chanting the prayers as I knew I wasn't ready.. I kept myself outside until my grandma needed me to get her bag for her.. I was just hoping she wouldn't ask me to go in.. But my aunty asked me if I could and at that moment, I couldn't say 'no' to her and so I went.. The chanting and the people and the smoke... It all came back.. The familiar prayers and stuff.. I quickly left but it was already hard.. Only Neelu, thankfully noticed the change in me and my movements after coming out of the house.. The rest were too distracted to notice.. I don't know what I would have told them if they had asked me.. Have to go back for the funeral tomorrow.. It's such a pity that a really nice soul like him had to be taken away but we do get comfort from the fact that he is in a better place now and rid of all his pain once and for all.. Whatever it is, I pray that everyone has the courage and strength tomorrow to go through the whole procedure.. It is never easy but it helps when you start believing that somewhere in someway, they still remain with us.. Some part of them still lingers around us.. And Acha, I know you are around as well.. In some way, I still feel you around.. And for that, I'm thankful :)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Mad rush
I'm exhausted.. It's been non-stop.. From birthday party on saturday night, to a mad rush in grabbing all the goodie bags and presents and rushing to decorate Vaarsha's place for her kids' party, to entertaining the little hyper kids with games and body art,( special thanks to Lavanz for coming to help me out.. Thanks babe.. I would have died without you) to rushing to Tampines C.C. for Shivani's competition (she got third by the way, and an award for best female voice.. Woohoo!!) to getting home at almost midnight and waking up again at 6.30am the next day and dressing up in traditional wear to get to Loyang Primary to help Aarthi darling with the indian dance workshop for the children( that was very tiring although my role was pretty insignificant, and she did most of the work *winkz*), to rushing to City Hall after that to attend the job briefing, to getting to aunty's place and driving myself home to collect my things and driving back to her place to stay over, to sleeping late once again and waking up at 5.00am to get to work, to stoning the whole day there , to rushing to dance class, dancing from 7.00pm to 10.00pm and finally here I am.. Home at 11 plus.. Dead beat.. I have no clue how I'd get up tomorrow morning.. Haiz.
Anyway got to go get my dinner.. Aarthi darlin, I hope the workshop went fine today :) And thanks for making me realise that teaching is not my calling.. haha.. And the Toa Payoh door moments remain between us only :)
I feel empty.. In a weird , weird way.. Yes, maybe I'm over sensitive.. And allowing my emotions to take over.. oh well, whatever it is, I want it to pass.. Soon.. It feels like I'm sinking and I don't know how to help myself cuz I cannot do anything about it.. Oh well..
Anyway got to go get my dinner.. Aarthi darlin, I hope the workshop went fine today :) And thanks for making me realise that teaching is not my calling.. haha.. And the Toa Payoh door moments remain between us only :)
I feel empty.. In a weird , weird way.. Yes, maybe I'm over sensitive.. And allowing my emotions to take over.. oh well, whatever it is, I want it to pass.. Soon.. It feels like I'm sinking and I don't know how to help myself cuz I cannot do anything about it.. Oh well..
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Kids
I think I'm in a very 'kid adoring' mood.. A lot of things probably led up to this mood I guess.. The conversation in the train the other day with Bhavani as she was talking about how beautiful a woman looks when she is expecting.. The kid that kept coming to us to be carried although she had never seen us before.. The numerous toddlers I have currently been seeing around in shopping centres.. The last few days with the kids.. I think I really really would just want to be around kids.. Always.. That would keep me very satisfied.. Especially babies.. It's so nice how they are so dependent on you, so vulnerable, so innocent and pure that you wanna do everything to protect them.. The way their tiny fingers wrap around your finger tightly.. The way their little heads are so wobbly the first 3 months.. The way they move and stretch and yawn.. Really.. I think nothing is more beautiful than having a kid fall asleep in your arms or be able to feel the heartbeat of a child against you as they snuggle up tight with you.. Oh well..Anyway these are some of my darlings .. :)
My little nephew, Rohit
Pretty little Shreya
Baby Shreya again, at 2 mths
Little Vinaya - the reason I look forward to performances..
Neelu - my personal assistant during my performances, the one who kisses me at every chance..
Neelu again
Vaarsha darlin
In braids and in pink.. For her fairytale party
Ahmish, the one time he sat still
When a camera phone is what it takes to entertain him
Knocked out
The kiss
Little Sugi, who moved when the cam clicked
My little nephew, Rohit
Pretty little Shreya
Baby Shreya again, at 2 mths
Little Vinaya - the reason I look forward to performances..
Neelu - my personal assistant during my performances, the one who kisses me at every chance..
Neelu again
Vaarsha darlin
In braids and in pink.. For her fairytale party
Ahmish, the one time he sat still
When a camera phone is what it takes to entertain him
Knocked out
The kiss
Little Sugi, who moved when the cam clickedWell, i suppose that's all I have for now since I lost quite a few pics when my phone screwed up.. Haiz.. Wasted.. Oh well..
Anyway I'm getting a bit sleepy.. Be back tomorrow .. Night
Anyway I'm getting a bit sleepy.. Be back tomorrow .. Night
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Happy Birthday Anan
It's eleven twenty in the morning and I'm just out of the shower and too lazy to go get dressed for church.. Haiz.. I am sleep deprived.. Really.. By the time we got back from the beach yesterday was about 2.45am and by the time we slept was close to 3.45am... Haha, but it was so worth it.. The look on his face when ten of us emerged from the tent was priceless! But the moments in the tent were the longest fifteen or so minutes of our lives as everyone was squashed in uncomfortable positions, feeling very warm and perspiring and in need of some air, but it made his day, so it was really worth it :) And the food prepared by his mum was excellent, especially the prawn 'sambal' which I was reluctant to have cuz of the shell, but it pays off to have long time male friends around who would pamper you once in a while and peel them for you *winkz* Anyway Happy Birthday, Anan!! It's like only yesterday that I wished you for your 7th birthday and here we are at 22!! The memories I have with you are so precious as you're on of the friends I have known the longest and practically grew up with.. I cherish the times you stood up for me, constantly encouraged me and always believed in me.. The times we all used to hang out after Scouts and Guides, the flour throwing school gatherings, the dances together, how you almost kicked my head off my shoulders during dance practice *winkz* , how you understood my fear of parking and parked for me, how you were always there to listen when I had issues, our tuition lessons with David and many more...I still hold the memories very dearly ... Hope you have a smashing birthday!
I wanted to wake up early today to send out an sms.. I actually put the stupid alarm on my phone to 8am.. But I guess I didn't put the phone in a proper position.. It fell to the floor in the middle of the night and I never heard the alarm after that.. Wasted.. Meant to wake up before you left for KL actually.. But I missed.. woke up around ten to see your message.. I don't know if you received the one I sent you, but anyway I hope you have a good trip and that much needed break as well :) And thanks for that call yeterday.. Felt much, much better after that compared to the last two days.. I appreciate it..
It's going to be a long day again today.. Got to meet Sailu in a bit and go get some stuff, get ourselves to church and then back home before heading to Gaya's party.. And I better get going now before Sai kills me for being late .. Oh well.. Laterz..
I wanted to wake up early today to send out an sms.. I actually put the stupid alarm on my phone to 8am.. But I guess I didn't put the phone in a proper position.. It fell to the floor in the middle of the night and I never heard the alarm after that.. Wasted.. Meant to wake up before you left for KL actually.. But I missed.. woke up around ten to see your message.. I don't know if you received the one I sent you, but anyway I hope you have a good trip and that much needed break as well :) And thanks for that call yeterday.. Felt much, much better after that compared to the last two days.. I appreciate it..
It's going to be a long day again today.. Got to meet Sailu in a bit and go get some stuff, get ourselves to church and then back home before heading to Gaya's party.. And I better get going now before Sai kills me for being late .. Oh well.. Laterz..
Friday, June 15, 2007
Drained out
I'm so tired... Going to dance class again after a month long break is really the worst possible thing you can do, especially if your teacher is the sort who sees humour in putting you through pain.. I cannot believe he put us through the worst possible combinations of steps.. Now, I'm aching all over.. Couldn't sit or stand yesterday without groaning in pain.. Haha.. And the walk all over Vivo didn't help the situation.. That place is too big I tell you, unless you have a fantastic sense of direction as to what shop is where exactly.. We didn't and our mission of doing my aunty a favour by shopping for little gift bags and souvenirs for the kids really drained out every ounce of energy left.. I was so glad I only brought Neleena along and left the other 2 kids behind despite their protests.. Seriously I would have ended up just crying cuz they would have been so tired and moody.. :)
Oh well.. Got to get more gift bags cuz Toys 'R' Us cheated me with the party bags.. Got to help aunty with the kids' activities as well cuz she is so busy with so many things and Vaarsha really deserves this all for the sweet child she is :) Let's see if I can get the kids over for a bit so I can babysit while the rest get some work done.. :)
Anyway tomorrow is Gaya's 21st.. Although things are really different now and stuff, I do hope sincerely that it goes well for her and she has the party she wanted and was planning for.. I know she put in a lot of effort for it so I hope her efforts pay off after all and all goes smooth without any screw ups.. It's just sad that so much planning and preparations and surprises are now silent.. But I still wish her all the best and hope her special day goes really well..
Oh well.. Got to get more gift bags cuz Toys 'R' Us cheated me with the party bags.. Got to help aunty with the kids' activities as well cuz she is so busy with so many things and Vaarsha really deserves this all for the sweet child she is :) Let's see if I can get the kids over for a bit so I can babysit while the rest get some work done.. :)
Anyway tomorrow is Gaya's 21st.. Although things are really different now and stuff, I do hope sincerely that it goes well for her and she has the party she wanted and was planning for.. I know she put in a lot of effort for it so I hope her efforts pay off after all and all goes smooth without any screw ups.. It's just sad that so much planning and preparations and surprises are now silent.. But I still wish her all the best and hope her special day goes really well..
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Girls... :)
This is again something I came across in a bulletin.. Found it really sweet and i suppose some of it is not really true but overall it seems pretty accurate :) And girl, I'm sure this will make you smile as well .. :)
If you really love a girl....
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. Wrestle with her :)
6. Don't go hang out with you ex when she is not with you, you might not realize how badly it hurts her.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk overand hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things:
-a stuffed animal (she'll hug it every time shegoes to sleep),
-jewelry (she'll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely wear it to bed) OR
-sweatshirts sprayed with his cologne!! and flowers or something occasionally.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if it's simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (it'll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don't necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.
27. Give her wat she wants
28. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
29.Don't hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she'll feel left out.
30.Hang out with her whenever you are free and u should be free to hang wit your girl friend all the time
31.If u care about her...SHOW her!
If you really love a girl....
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. Wrestle with her :)
6. Don't go hang out with you ex when she is not with you, you might not realize how badly it hurts her.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk overand hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things:
-a stuffed animal (she'll hug it every time shegoes to sleep),
-jewelry (she'll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely wear it to bed) OR
-sweatshirts sprayed with his cologne!! and flowers or something occasionally.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if it's simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (it'll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don't necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.
27. Give her wat she wants
28. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
29.Don't hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she'll feel left out.
30.Hang out with her whenever you are free and u should be free to hang wit your girl friend all the time
31.If u care about her...SHOW her!
A solemn entry
It's Vaarsha darling's birthday today! Got her a set of books from the Mr. Midnight series.. Hope she hasn't read these yet.. Wanted so badly to get her the Mallory Towers series that I read and loved while growing up but somehow it's so difficult to find nowadays.. Wasted.. Oh well, let's see if I come across them somewhere.. Got to follow aunty to JB for a bit and then visit Vaarsha in the evening.. It's going to be another long day today...
Yesterday at dance class, the topic of conforming to society's views and stereotypes came up and started a heated dicussion between a student and the teacher as they both stated their opinions on why they felt it's more important to live for yourself and stuff cuz society always has something to say.. Then the conversation moved to the topic of death and ceremonies as the guy in class started telling us how the people around them started giving his mother disapproving looks and making comments regarding the way she still carried on wearing coloured outfits and flowers in her hair and bangles and 'pottu' and stuff despite the fact that her husband recently passed on.. He was saying how he refused having his mum be stripped of all these things and that those ornaments and stuff were a symbol his dad left behind for her and there is no reason she should lose them all to conform to society's liking and beliefs.. He rather have her keep them in memory of his dad.. All this got me thinking to 5 years ago.. The same situation.. My mum was only 40 then.. Too young to lose her husband.. It's really sad when you live with someone for 20 or so years and suddenly one day they are no longer there.. That itself is hard enough.. I think it's extremely painful putting them through worse agony by removing all the pretty things from them that they used to always adorn on themselves.. I don't think I could have handled seeing that happen on top of all the rest of the things that happened that day.. We wouldn't want to ever put her through such a situation nor exclude her from any events because she lost her husband.. Some people are particular and I remember how I got so annoyed when at some function they didn't let her carry out the rights because of her situation which was considered inauspicious.. I guess it all boils down to individual thinking and how each person sees it..
But somehow, yesterday's class brought it all back.. That one night 5 years ago..I still remember so clearly walking into that room, seeing my uncle as he refused to look me in the eye, my grandma shaking my dad, the ambulance arriving and my uncle trying to hide the news from us.. It's all still so fresh.. All trying hard not to break down for fear of causing the rest to break as well.. The relatives pouring in and sobbing.. How I refused to leave my room all day, refused to go near the coffin, refused to look till they needed me to be there for the rights.. How the tears just wouldn't stop.. How the casket company guy kept insisting my mum and I say something to my dad before he closed the coffin telling us we'd never see him again.. How so many unknown people just kept coming and holding me telling me it'd be okay.. It wouldn't.. It would never go back to how it used to be.. We would never see him again.. We would never have the same sunday afternoons where he would cook and call everyone over for lunch.. I would never have someone who would sleep on the sofa instead of the room just so he can keep me company while I studied, who would wake up in the mornings to make me a drink cuz he sensed I was tired.. I would never have someone who would wake up so much earlier to cook for a school event for me when my mum got annoyed that I agreed to cook for school in the first place.. I would never have someone who would iron my uniform for me cuz he knew I was lazy and my mum only decided to iron for my brother cuz he was younger.. I would never have someone to stand up for me saying I should be independent and be allowed to go out and learn to stand up for myself.. I would never have someone who would buy me a necklace off the counter just because I said i liked it.. Someone who would have done anything for me..Someone who would rush home from work on the day of my performance so he can dress me and do my hair and stuff.. Someone who would wait outside school for a good three hours cuz he didn't know what time I would end and had no means of contacting me.. Someone who would scold me for spending unnecessarily but would also check my wallet every morning before he left for work and top up the cash inside.. Someone who would never force me to do anything against my will.. Someone who was so generous with everything he had and who always believed in giving.. Someone who used to love having visitors and whom my friends loved being around cuz of the way he joked with them and told them ghost stories.. Someone who loved me more than anything else in the world.. Someone who saw me as his little princess.. Someone who can never be replaced.. How would things ever be the same? It's been about 5 years.. Will be 5 in August.. But it still feels like yesterday.. The regrets still affect me.. The things I should have done still haunt me.. It always will I suppose..
Oh well... Life has to go on.. Things will change.. And you have to accept them I suppose.. There is no other way...
Yesterday at dance class, the topic of conforming to society's views and stereotypes came up and started a heated dicussion between a student and the teacher as they both stated their opinions on why they felt it's more important to live for yourself and stuff cuz society always has something to say.. Then the conversation moved to the topic of death and ceremonies as the guy in class started telling us how the people around them started giving his mother disapproving looks and making comments regarding the way she still carried on wearing coloured outfits and flowers in her hair and bangles and 'pottu' and stuff despite the fact that her husband recently passed on.. He was saying how he refused having his mum be stripped of all these things and that those ornaments and stuff were a symbol his dad left behind for her and there is no reason she should lose them all to conform to society's liking and beliefs.. He rather have her keep them in memory of his dad.. All this got me thinking to 5 years ago.. The same situation.. My mum was only 40 then.. Too young to lose her husband.. It's really sad when you live with someone for 20 or so years and suddenly one day they are no longer there.. That itself is hard enough.. I think it's extremely painful putting them through worse agony by removing all the pretty things from them that they used to always adorn on themselves.. I don't think I could have handled seeing that happen on top of all the rest of the things that happened that day.. We wouldn't want to ever put her through such a situation nor exclude her from any events because she lost her husband.. Some people are particular and I remember how I got so annoyed when at some function they didn't let her carry out the rights because of her situation which was considered inauspicious.. I guess it all boils down to individual thinking and how each person sees it..
But somehow, yesterday's class brought it all back.. That one night 5 years ago..I still remember so clearly walking into that room, seeing my uncle as he refused to look me in the eye, my grandma shaking my dad, the ambulance arriving and my uncle trying to hide the news from us.. It's all still so fresh.. All trying hard not to break down for fear of causing the rest to break as well.. The relatives pouring in and sobbing.. How I refused to leave my room all day, refused to go near the coffin, refused to look till they needed me to be there for the rights.. How the tears just wouldn't stop.. How the casket company guy kept insisting my mum and I say something to my dad before he closed the coffin telling us we'd never see him again.. How so many unknown people just kept coming and holding me telling me it'd be okay.. It wouldn't.. It would never go back to how it used to be.. We would never see him again.. We would never have the same sunday afternoons where he would cook and call everyone over for lunch.. I would never have someone who would sleep on the sofa instead of the room just so he can keep me company while I studied, who would wake up in the mornings to make me a drink cuz he sensed I was tired.. I would never have someone who would wake up so much earlier to cook for a school event for me when my mum got annoyed that I agreed to cook for school in the first place.. I would never have someone who would iron my uniform for me cuz he knew I was lazy and my mum only decided to iron for my brother cuz he was younger.. I would never have someone to stand up for me saying I should be independent and be allowed to go out and learn to stand up for myself.. I would never have someone who would buy me a necklace off the counter just because I said i liked it.. Someone who would have done anything for me..Someone who would rush home from work on the day of my performance so he can dress me and do my hair and stuff.. Someone who would wait outside school for a good three hours cuz he didn't know what time I would end and had no means of contacting me.. Someone who would scold me for spending unnecessarily but would also check my wallet every morning before he left for work and top up the cash inside.. Someone who would never force me to do anything against my will.. Someone who was so generous with everything he had and who always believed in giving.. Someone who used to love having visitors and whom my friends loved being around cuz of the way he joked with them and told them ghost stories.. Someone who loved me more than anything else in the world.. Someone who saw me as his little princess.. Someone who can never be replaced.. How would things ever be the same? It's been about 5 years.. Will be 5 in August.. But it still feels like yesterday.. The regrets still affect me.. The things I should have done still haunt me.. It always will I suppose..
Oh well... Life has to go on.. Things will change.. And you have to accept them I suppose.. There is no other way...
Monday, June 11, 2007
True Love and Care
An e-mail I received that left a really fuzzy and warm feeling in me once I was through.. Pretty long but it's worth the read.. I know I forwarded it to some, but it was too beautiful to leave it at that.. Either that, or I'm in a very warm and emotional mood :)
A Simple Story of True Love and True Care
I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.
I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.
He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand.
"Who stole the money?" he asked.
I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"
He lifted up the bamboo stick.
Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!"
The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly.
Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath.
After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"
That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear.
In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."
I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did.
Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday.
I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me.
That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old.
When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.
That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.
I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?"
Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?"
At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books."
Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face.
"Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.
I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his studies; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing."
I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."
I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.
That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.
With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.
One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!"
Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?"
He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?"
I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"
From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one."
I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried.
That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.
I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned.
After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she told me with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window."
I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.
I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandag on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him.
"No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet. Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face.
That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.
After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want.
They said, once they left the village, they wouldn't know what to do.
My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here."
My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.
One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital.
My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?"
With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?"
My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!"
"Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand.
That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.
My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"
Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.
"When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers.
She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her."
Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me.
I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.
Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.
A Simple Story of True Love and True Care
I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.
I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.
He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand.
"Who stole the money?" he asked.
I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"
He lifted up the bamboo stick.
Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!"
The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly.
Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath.
After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"
That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear.
In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."
I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did.
Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday.
I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me.
That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old.
When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.
That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.
I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?"
Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?"
At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books."
Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face.
"Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.
I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his studies; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing."
I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."
I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.
That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.
With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.
One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!"
Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?"
He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?"
I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"
From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one."
I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried.
That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.
I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned.
After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she told me with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window."
I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.
I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandag on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him.
"No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet. Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face.
That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.
After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want.
They said, once they left the village, they wouldn't know what to do.
My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here."
My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.
One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital.
My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?"
With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?"
My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!"
"Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand.
That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.
My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"
Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.
"When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers.
She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her."
Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me.
I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.
Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.
Eventful Weekend
Hmm it's been a pretty nice few days that have passed.. Saturday and Sunday were both really memorable in their own ways and I suppose I could say it was one of the nicest weekends in a really really long time.. :)
Saturday was Vishnu's 21st.. It was really good.. And so beautiful.. The efforts they took, the little doorgifts that were so connected to the theme, the table placings, the welcoming group, the indian civilisations research done, the hosting, the songs, the game, mimicry, the fact that Vishnu actually sang, the really touching speeches, powerpoint, his thank you to all, it was really very beautiful.. The best part was how EVERYBODY dressed up.. How the guys actually went to buy outfits for that day and how like the majority of girls came in sarees.. A really colourful and enjoyable evening.. Could see what he meant to everyone and how everybody was so willing to be a part of his special day..
Saturday was Vishnu's 21st.. It was really good.. And so beautiful.. The efforts they took, the little doorgifts that were so connected to the theme, the table placings, the welcoming group, the indian civilisations research done, the hosting, the songs, the game, mimicry, the fact that Vishnu actually sang, the really touching speeches, powerpoint, his thank you to all, it was really very beautiful.. The best part was how EVERYBODY dressed up.. How the guys actually went to buy outfits for that day and how like the majority of girls came in sarees.. A really colourful and enjoyable evening.. Could see what he meant to everyone and how everybody was so willing to be a part of his special day..
A few shots from the evening ..
With the beautiful lavanya :)
Vish and the females
With the birthday boy
DJs hard at work .... Yea right *winkz*
Aniyathi with the Chetta, as always :)
With the beautiful lavanya :)
Vish and the females
With the birthday boy
DJs hard at work .... Yea right *winkz*
Aniyathi with the Chetta, as always :)Sunday was also pretty exciting.. Went to Vivocity for lunch and a movie.. Was a bit late thanks to the mad rush the night before.. Stayed over at Grandma's place because it was too late to go home after the party..By the time I got to her place was about 1plus and by the time we settled down to sleep was about 2 plus and I had to wake up at about 8.00am and get ready and rush home by ten.. Then I showered and changed and rushed to Vivocity but ended up having to make them wait.. But it was a really pleasant day .. Was glad for the opportunity to meet them.. Both of them were really sweet and extremely lovable.. :) The movie was a disappointment though, and everyone shared the same sentiments, but oh well, i always feel, it's not where you are or what you do that matters, it's the people you are with that makes a difference.. In that aspect, I have no regrets and the day couldn't have been better :)
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Not right
I have a bad bad feeling about things.. That awful feeling that rises from the pit of your tummy hinting that something is seriously not quite right.. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping this weird feeling will pass.. Soon...
Plans
Confused.. Stressed.. Disappointed
I don't understand anything anymore... I suspect something has gone wrong with you but I wish you would tell me.. Don't keep saying it's fine cuz I know it isn't.. Something is definitely bothering you and you cannot hide it from me.. I think I can tell.. So I hope you feel better soon or you talk it out.. Don't keep it in..
I want to go out.. Really.. Just go out and have fun.. It's been a while.. Just to hang out and laugh and play around.. But all seem occuppied.. Still having papers and looking for jobs.. Haiz.. I miss the times we could all just sit down and slack without a worry in the world or just rush off for a movie unexpectedly or go down to the beach and just spend the day there or suddenly just come up with plans to go to the zoo or something.. Oh well.. maybe I'll think of something next week.. So many things I wanted to do after exams and I have to get down to it.. Baking, taking the kids out or something, planning Vaarsha's party.. Once they are back I guess.. Can't wait.. Miss that kid so much,how she so perfectly pronounces my name when she says "Rashmi Chechi", how she just comes running at me straight with her arms open for a hug, how she makes herself comfortable on anyone's lap when she wants to sit, how she whispers in my ears that she would like me to feed her, how she so adorably comes to me to plan surprises for everyone else.. Really sweet kid.. Just a few more days I suppose :)
Little Vaarsha and her modelling moments
I don't understand anything anymore... I suspect something has gone wrong with you but I wish you would tell me.. Don't keep saying it's fine cuz I know it isn't.. Something is definitely bothering you and you cannot hide it from me.. I think I can tell.. So I hope you feel better soon or you talk it out.. Don't keep it in..
I want to go out.. Really.. Just go out and have fun.. It's been a while.. Just to hang out and laugh and play around.. But all seem occuppied.. Still having papers and looking for jobs.. Haiz.. I miss the times we could all just sit down and slack without a worry in the world or just rush off for a movie unexpectedly or go down to the beach and just spend the day there or suddenly just come up with plans to go to the zoo or something.. Oh well.. maybe I'll think of something next week.. So many things I wanted to do after exams and I have to get down to it.. Baking, taking the kids out or something, planning Vaarsha's party.. Once they are back I guess.. Can't wait.. Miss that kid so much,how she so perfectly pronounces my name when she says "Rashmi Chechi", how she just comes running at me straight with her arms open for a hug, how she makes herself comfortable on anyone's lap when she wants to sit, how she whispers in my ears that she would like me to feed her, how she so adorably comes to me to plan surprises for everyone else.. Really sweet kid.. Just a few more days I suppose :)
Little Vaarsha and her modelling momentsFriday, June 8, 2007
Tiring Day
My plans have gone wrong.. Haha.. I am terrible at planning things... So much for my careful planning and formulation of ideas and stuff.. Aiyo.. So much drama for the car also.. In the end, plan failed.. I think I should just stop being so ambitious and plan small.. Settle the little things first.. :)
Talking about the car.. I think I'll never volunteer to drive again.. It's painful being behind the wheel and having a million suggestions and directions hurled at you, together with advice on what you should do and shouldn't do and slight scoldings here and there when you get scared or make a small mistake.. On top of all that, my day is never over without me doing something to embarrass myself.. And that happened in the carpark.. Never will I go back there again.. Haiz..
And I always seem to have issues with pigeons.. First at Chinese Garden where pigeons actually chased us around and then today, as we sat by the Singapore River just looking at the water, so many pigeons kept swooping by, so low that they could have just smacked us across the face with their wings.. I'm not liking it.. Not funny..
Tomorrow is a long day... Vishnu's party in the evening.. Got to go to Novena before that and get the card and all settled.. Then I have no idea what time I'll be home.. Probably early since the boys have other plans.. Grr!! But I'm looking forward to it.. Vishnu's 21st.. My 'scandal' of 3 years turns 21.. One of the nicest, sweetest, most genuine guys I've met..Someone who has been my dance partner, who took me for a walk and landed us both in front of Old Changi Hospital, who translates song lyrics with me, who insists I eat with him when I say I'm not hungry..Someone who has seen me cry, who has comforted me, who has made me feel special and whom I always think of with a smile. Happy 21st, Vishnu!! :)
Talking about the car.. I think I'll never volunteer to drive again.. It's painful being behind the wheel and having a million suggestions and directions hurled at you, together with advice on what you should do and shouldn't do and slight scoldings here and there when you get scared or make a small mistake.. On top of all that, my day is never over without me doing something to embarrass myself.. And that happened in the carpark.. Never will I go back there again.. Haiz..
And I always seem to have issues with pigeons.. First at Chinese Garden where pigeons actually chased us around and then today, as we sat by the Singapore River just looking at the water, so many pigeons kept swooping by, so low that they could have just smacked us across the face with their wings.. I'm not liking it.. Not funny..
Tomorrow is a long day... Vishnu's party in the evening.. Got to go to Novena before that and get the card and all settled.. Then I have no idea what time I'll be home.. Probably early since the boys have other plans.. Grr!! But I'm looking forward to it.. Vishnu's 21st.. My 'scandal' of 3 years turns 21.. One of the nicest, sweetest, most genuine guys I've met..Someone who has been my dance partner, who took me for a walk and landed us both in front of Old Changi Hospital, who translates song lyrics with me, who insists I eat with him when I say I'm not hungry..Someone who has seen me cry, who has comforted me, who has made me feel special and whom I always think of with a smile. Happy 21st, Vishnu!! :)
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Psychos in my life :)
I just realised I'm surrounded by real nutcases when I looked thru these shots from the past.. Sweet memories..
The dance where everyone was in a world of their own.. But we had a blast..
The dance, the costumes and the pose... It all doesn't fit in..
For this I have no other words except, " why? "
retro dolls
trust these 3 to find means of entertaining themselves
I wanted to be tall.. so that's their solution..
just don't ask.. we were both bored..
Im just glad I already left the place before all this madness
These two provide entertainment at it's best
The only one who would allow us to do his hair in school when we are bored..
The kidnapping incident
Neelu entertaining herself. With MY hair.
The dance where everyone was in a world of their own.. But we had a blast..
The dance, the costumes and the pose... It all doesn't fit in..
For this I have no other words except, " why? "
retro dolls
trust these 3 to find means of entertaining themselves
I wanted to be tall.. so that's their solution..
just don't ask.. we were both bored..
Im just glad I already left the place before all this madness
These two provide entertainment at it's best
The only one who would allow us to do his hair in school when we are bored..
The kidnapping incident
Neelu entertaining herself. With MY hair.Oh well, that's all I have time for now.. Gotta leave.. Laterz :)
It's Over
It's finally here.. The end of exams.. How do I feel? Horrible actually.. When you are doing your papers, you really can't wait for them to end but when it's over I feel terrible.. It's like never have I felt so miserable about my papers before.. Even last year with six modules and half the effort, I did better.. This time it's just unbelievably terrible.. Everything was unexpected.. And I did try.. I really did.. Yea I did have distractions with the India trip and the dancing and all but end of the day I think I tried harder this year.. Just so disappointing.. Oh well, like I was telling Vic yesterday, I have decided to re-do the papers.. I'm prepared.. But it's more like those around me.. Spoke to mum about it and she got annoyed telling me to work and do it if I had to and stuff.. So I have to really start looking for a job I guess.. Grandma also was disappointed.. Could hear it in her voice.. That's the hardest thing.. Disappointing them.. Oh well, it's not just the family.. I'm sure there will be a lot of comments all around but I guess life goes on...
Had a pleasant phone conversation with someone yesterday night after such a loooong time... The time just flew by while we both just sat down and crapped about everything and the feeling of getting back in touch with someone whom you were really attached to is indescribable.. Thanks for calling and entertaining me when I said I was bored.. I shall admit that I have no regrets missing 'Jeepers Creepers' to talk to you :) Hurry up and finish your exams(actually find out when it is first) and then we have a date! *winkz*
Today is bound to be pretty interesting.. Got to pick Neelu from her place, drive down to ESA, pick aunty up, get ourselves to the eye clinic and eventually go to Tekka to pick mum up.. All this is going to be more interesting as my grandpa will be busy scolding me for my driving skills, or lack of it, rather.. Haha.. Oh well, but it's something to look forward to.. Haven't really spent time with them the past month.. I did see them around and stuff but never really spoke much and played around as normal cuz the stress of the papers was always at the back of my mind.. Now that my papers are over, they will start with their questions and curiosity about certain issues again. Oh well... :)
Went to Sentosa yesterday for a short while cuz Vic insisted she wanted to see the water and just relax. BIG mistake.. We ended up reaching pretty late and it was such a sad situation that we were so disappointed.. First of all, our sense of directions are excellent.. We could get lost in the beach itself.. Secondly it was really dark and across the bridge, the lighting was pretty dim so we had to use her handphone to give us light while we munched on the potato chips.. Next we needed some Indian guy who freaked the hell out of us by appearing while we were all alone and climbing on top of our table, to switch on lights for us.. That was just really scary.. We really were not set for the beach either, both carrying bags heavy with the statutes, jackets to keep us warm at the Expo and so on.. Really not happening.. Haha.. But all in all we had some entertainment as we freaked ourselves out and laughed about how idiotic we looked among everyone else there.. Haha
Taken at Sentosa.. in the darkness.. :)
Taken at Sentosa.. in the darkness.. :)Had a pleasant phone conversation with someone yesterday night after such a loooong time... The time just flew by while we both just sat down and crapped about everything and the feeling of getting back in touch with someone whom you were really attached to is indescribable.. Thanks for calling and entertaining me when I said I was bored.. I shall admit that I have no regrets missing 'Jeepers Creepers' to talk to you :) Hurry up and finish your exams(actually find out when it is first) and then we have a date! *winkz*
Today is bound to be pretty interesting.. Got to pick Neelu from her place, drive down to ESA, pick aunty up, get ourselves to the eye clinic and eventually go to Tekka to pick mum up.. All this is going to be more interesting as my grandpa will be busy scolding me for my driving skills, or lack of it, rather.. Haha.. Oh well, but it's something to look forward to.. Haven't really spent time with them the past month.. I did see them around and stuff but never really spoke much and played around as normal cuz the stress of the papers was always at the back of my mind.. Now that my papers are over, they will start with their questions and curiosity about certain issues again. Oh well... :)
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
One more day
I think I'm going to just sit down and cry.. Aargh.. Company Law couldn't be any drier, any harder, any more annoying than it already is.. It's so painful to get from page to page and try to absorb and retain the differences between different companies and partnerships.. The cases we have to cover are another killer altogether.. No matter how many times I read and re-read Salomon, that case never stays in my head and that is the basis of everything else.. Haiz, another terrible paper coming up..
Yesterday I went to little Sugi's birthday party.. That was just weird.. Somehow none of our parents turned up and we were left standing as representatives of each family.. It wasn't a good thing cuz we didn't know the other side of the family and we couldn't just go and participate in the conversations among the elders so we were pretty stuck and staring around aimlessly.. But that came to an end when Surekha brought out her lovebird from the cage and let it walk around happily all over the house between everyone's legs.. Not funny.. The last memory I had of birds out of their cages was when Neelu had that same bird that would fly all over and happily attach itself onto people or come cling to your clothes.. I used to be horrified.. So when the bird was walking around yesterday I kept avoiding it's path and my cousins being the angels they are, happily announced to the rest that I was freaked out.. So yes, I had a lot of attention yesterday.. And it didn't help when I realised that the bird had a fascination for painted toe nails.. Haiz..
One more day to go.. Can't wait!!!!!
Yesterday I went to little Sugi's birthday party.. That was just weird.. Somehow none of our parents turned up and we were left standing as representatives of each family.. It wasn't a good thing cuz we didn't know the other side of the family and we couldn't just go and participate in the conversations among the elders so we were pretty stuck and staring around aimlessly.. But that came to an end when Surekha brought out her lovebird from the cage and let it walk around happily all over the house between everyone's legs.. Not funny.. The last memory I had of birds out of their cages was when Neelu had that same bird that would fly all over and happily attach itself onto people or come cling to your clothes.. I used to be horrified.. So when the bird was walking around yesterday I kept avoiding it's path and my cousins being the angels they are, happily announced to the rest that I was freaked out.. So yes, I had a lot of attention yesterday.. And it didn't help when I realised that the bird had a fascination for painted toe nails.. Haiz..
One more day to go.. Can't wait!!!!!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Saturday
What can I say? I'm disappointed, that's all.. Cuz you didn't bother waiting to find out how much I actually cared.. How much I would actually do and how much I was going to and now I'm just tired of trying.. Oh well.. It's sad that a friendship requires constant assurance and fixing when all along nothing ever changed for me.. No matter what, it was always the same to me.. All these years and now I'm so numb of it.. But more disappointing still, is the word used.. That has just silenced me.. The tears, the pain, the disappointment, everything.. I really have resigned it to the way it's meant to be.. I hope your happier this way since I've supposedly always disappointed you the last few months.. Since you feel I have issues, since you feel I don't care and I'm not loving or anything like that.. Maybe it's me or maybe you're right.. Perhaps I am not the loving sort.. I'm not going to complain or comment or anything.. I do not wish to list what I have done for you, the amount I have hurt or anything cuz i believe you know what your doing and I wish you all the best.. Instead of complaining, I'm just going to say thanks to you for everything so far cuz I haven't forgotten the times you have been there. So for that, thank you..
Anyway, went for NTU's Moksha yesterday.. It was nice seeing everyone again after a long time.. Felt good being with everybody again.. Except for the speakers that kept blasting and the loud music.. And not forgetting the migraine.. Oh my God, I thought I would die.. That was horrible and the music wasn't helping.. The 'bang bang bang' kind of music is really not what you need during a headache.. The show ended pretty late and I couldn't wait to get home.. Haha and nothing beats getting panadol in between and then realising there was no water except coke, which would have been a deadly combination for me at that time and eventually I had to wait till I got home before taking panadol.. So that was pretty painful and the cab ride home was pretty bumpy as well and not making things any better.. But oh well, at least it wasn't as bad as the last time where the pain got so bad till I had to throw up and start sobbing cuz I couldn't handle it.. Haha, so all was good I guess..
I'm touched by your message.. Really.. I didn't expect that.. Sweet surprise.. Thank you.. :)
Anyway, went for NTU's Moksha yesterday.. It was nice seeing everyone again after a long time.. Felt good being with everybody again.. Except for the speakers that kept blasting and the loud music.. And not forgetting the migraine.. Oh my God, I thought I would die.. That was horrible and the music wasn't helping.. The 'bang bang bang' kind of music is really not what you need during a headache.. The show ended pretty late and I couldn't wait to get home.. Haha and nothing beats getting panadol in between and then realising there was no water except coke, which would have been a deadly combination for me at that time and eventually I had to wait till I got home before taking panadol.. So that was pretty painful and the cab ride home was pretty bumpy as well and not making things any better.. But oh well, at least it wasn't as bad as the last time where the pain got so bad till I had to throw up and start sobbing cuz I couldn't handle it.. Haha, so all was good I guess..
I'm touched by your message.. Really.. I didn't expect that.. Sweet surprise.. Thank you.. :)
Friday, June 1, 2007
Shocked
I'm so annoyed.. Really.. I don't understand.. What's with telling two stories to two different girls and making each one seem so possessive and unreasonable to the other? What's with lying so much about everything to make an impression? Why go around telling everybody a different story and convincing people of something that isn't true? I don't get it.. And now that the truth is out, I'm freaked out.. Freaked out about the abusive nature, the violence, the lies, the trauma she went through.. The pain and crap she endured because of you.. The packet given to her to keep safely for supposed luck which could have brought her harm.. It's so psychotic.. It's so freaky.. It's just ridiculous.. And you know what's terrifying... I could be her... I could have gotten abused.. These are the times I'm so thankful for my really conservative and introverted side.. But still, it's scary..
Moving on, I want to pierce my nose.. Seriously.. I know I've been going on and on about wanting to for the past 3 years or so but never having the guts to actually do it.. I still want to.. Haiz.. If only it was a painless procedure and didn't involve a gun or needle.. Aargh!
On a lighter note, I'm smiling now.. Thanks to you.. :) That message cheered me up..
Moving on, I want to pierce my nose.. Seriously.. I know I've been going on and on about wanting to for the past 3 years or so but never having the guts to actually do it.. I still want to.. Haiz.. If only it was a painless procedure and didn't involve a gun or needle.. Aargh!
On a lighter note, I'm smiling now.. Thanks to you.. :) That message cheered me up..
Memories
Some things I miss and some fond memories while looking thru certain pictures...
Braiding each other's hair when there in nothing else better to do...
With my Great-Grandma on the day we were leaving...
Shreya's 6 mths at the temple
The three I cannot do without
Amusing ourselves at rehearsal
The whole 'Sruthilaya' Team
My Babuji Girls.. Such a joy..
Vic n me -The things we do
Her successful cable-car surprise
Till today, I don't understand this pic..
2 bored girls, one void-deck, rolled up pieces of paper and a camera...
NYJC Alumni - Rainbow
24th Jan, 8.00a.m., Toa Payoh, surprise, traumatising cats, 5 lifts :)
Braiding each other's hair when there in nothing else better to do...
With my Great-Grandma on the day we were leaving...
Shreya's 6 mths at the temple
The three I cannot do without
Amusing ourselves at rehearsal
The whole 'Sruthilaya' Team
My Babuji Girls.. Such a joy..
Vic n me -The things we do
Her successful cable-car surprise
Till today, I don't understand this pic..
2 bored girls, one void-deck, rolled up pieces of paper and a camera...
NYJC Alumni - Rainbow
24th Jan, 8.00a.m., Toa Payoh, surprise, traumatising cats, 5 lifts :)
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