One Week

I'm really tired.. So sick and tired of the sight of the books on the table.. I know it's the final paper and stuff.. But somehow it doesn't feel like it.. Feels like I'm probably going to re-take the entire year again.. The last three papers were madness.. Never have I felt that I could screw up ALL my papers.. Every year there is a point when I sit down and wonder about some papers and worry about whether I'd clear them.. But never the entire set of modules.. And it's not because I slackened this year or what.. If anything, I think I studied harder this year than the previous two.. But sadly, that effort doesn't seem to be paying off very well.. I don't know if it's my choice of modules for the year that made it a really wrong combination or whether it's the papers in general this time or whether I'm just plain slow in picking up concepts.. Sometimes I find myself regretting the move to SIM cuz looking at the Stansfield girls reminds me of last year and the modules I would have chosen had I stayed on in Stansfield.. I would have taken much simpler modules with those girls and we would have been together as one pushing each other. And the modules wouldn't have been so heavy as well..This time my modules itself are a huge mistake..Now that three are over and I have seen how badly the three went, I'm expecting the worst for Law.. It's come to a point where I just feel like giving up and saying forget it.. You get so demoralised when you see your efforts going down the drain that you start questioning why you even bothered in the first place.. I'm expecting to repeat.. Actually I think I might actually want to do the whole year all over again.. For a chance to do better.. To prove to myself that it's possible.. Although there is going to be alot of comments from alot of people.. Oh well, there is nothing I can do I guess..

One week.. One week more and I can start clearing out the mess of papers and notes lying all over my room.. One week more and I can actually get down to meeting up with all those I haven't in a long while.. One week and I can do all the stuff I've been putting off.. I really cannot wait.. And then it's Vishnu's party, Gaya's party, Vaarsha's party and Shiv's competition.. Got to help Gaya with her preparations, got to help aunty figure out ways to keep the kids entertained and go shopping for door gifts and chocolates to wrap up.. That sounds like something to look forward to.. :)