Have you ever felt so muddled up? Like there were really really important things running through your head that needed your attention and time, that you were so hesitant to look into because you were afraid of finding the answers to them?
I am not going to question why it is so or why it couldn't have been otherwise or wonder at the timing, or the twists and surprises and shocks that meet you at every turn you make in your journey. Questioning never provides answers.. Time, I realised does...
I remembered today as I sat in church, a particular day similar to this, where I sat before Her just like I did today and made a request.. Told Her something I felt was only fair.. And I remember feeling so down about it after. And today, those thoughts came flooding back.. And I realised that time had taught me a lesson.. To stop, to understand, to learn patience, to wait, to believe, to surrender, to accept, to give, and today - to wonder at the mystery of it all...
It is a challenge.. Every day is a challenge of it's own.. certain days, you feel nothing happens and certain days you feel you were on a constant roller coaster ride.. Today I felt peaceful- after a long while.. I felt this amazing sense of calm I haven't felt in days.. Sitting at Her altar after so long made me realise how much I missed church.. I felt this sense of peace wash over me today in the serenity of it all.. And somehow that trip to Sai Centre, completed it.. And to top it off, a meeting with Siew Wei. :)
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