God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it ... Dad
We may not shower him with praise
Nor mention his name in song,
And sometimes it seems that we forget
The joy he spreads as he goes along,
Bu tit doesn’t mean that we don’t know
The wonderful role that he has had.
And away down deep in every heart
There’s a place that is just for Dad.
17th August 2007.. Five years ago on this very date, I lost someone really special, really close to my heart. Someone I never really showed my appreciation towards and in fact took for granted that he would always be around.. Someone I saw standing by me throughout the years, ready to support me with my decisions as well as ready to scold me when i make a mistake..It seemed normal, seemed constant, till that one particular night.. Even now, it's so clear in my mind, my mum's words as she shook me out of my sleep, "Rashmi, wake up.. Something seems wrong with Acha" I dashed out and knew the instant I spotted him lying on the bed, that it was over..
That's when reality sinks in.. When it's too late.. That's when all the regrets start coming in and you start telling yourself 'if only I had done this and that'.. But it's too late.. Which is why I'm so scared now of losing people I care about.. Why I get emotional if I sense something may cause me to lose someone dear to me.. Cuz I'm so afraid of not letting them know what they mean to me, before it's too late.. Like what happened with my Dad.. I never told him thank you, never let him know how much I appreciated what he did, never acknowledged his silent but strong support towards my decisions..
Acha, thank you so much...
Thank you for always watching out for me.. For always believing in me... For waiting outside my school bus stop for 4 hours cuz you were worried I was short of cash and couldn't contact me.. For waking up at 3 in the morning to prepare and pack chicken curry for my school bazaar and then waking me up so that I don't lose sleep.. For staying up with me when I had to study so that I wouldn't feel lonely.. For treating all my friends so nicely and playing around with them.. For ironing my pinafore for me on days I was so lazy to do it..For showing me how to make a catapult.. For sitting with me and Rethish on the porch in India and showing us how to catch birds with simple tools like a basket and some string.. For holding the calf for me when I was too afraid to go near it..For complaining that I finish my money too quickly yet creeping into my room every morning to make sure I have enough cash on me.. For following me to school when I was in Newton Elementary and attending the Father's Day party we all did for the Dads and for making the insect cage out of the milk carton with me.. For always coming back early on days I have performances and taking care of all the little details in dressing me up, from hair to costumes.. For attending every one of my performances and watching me with a smile on your face.. For claiming that my cooking was really good to make sure I don't feel discouraged although I could see the rest not liking it very much..For buying me the white outfit off the rack just cuz I said I liked it..For helping me fight for my rights when I'm given an unreasonable curfew.. For always buying something home for dinner when you sense that we don't really fancy the food at home.. For making me feel like a princess..For being one of the most generous souls I have ever met.. For giving without any expectations.. For putting aside your dreams to let me do what I want.. For encouraging me in everything I did.. For being the bestest Father ever.. Thank You..
I know I have never shown my appraciation or let you know how I felt.. Other regrets for which I owe you a huge apology and explanation still remain but all I can do is carry it with me and hope that you understand why things had to happen that way and how 'stuck' I was and that i had no alternative.. Nobody else can understand and I have never spoken to anyone else about these things and I suppose this guilt will always remain with me.. But I just want you to know that no matter how many times I may have seemed not to care, or never really spent time talking or sharing my life with you, you have no idea how much I wish each day that you were here with me, by my side, every step of the way.. Although you're not her physically, somehow I know you'll always be around, watching over us throughout all the decisions we make.. I love you, Acha..
No comments:
Post a Comment