Happens, once, twice and it will happen again

Just today I was saying I dare not think too much about my birthday...
Just today I voiced out how afraid I was of getting upset..
Just today I was thinking of how everything that happens twice happens thrice...
- New Year's was depressing
- Valentine's was heartbreaking
- Now this...
I just had a feeling that this year was just wrong.. Every event I anticipate goes wrong.. Some strange nagging thought kept bugging me that I would get upset next week.. I was right..

I was just telling Sai a few days back that I would really, really lose my mood and excitement for the show if this happened.. It would all seem pointless if it turned out this way.. And it has.. Whatever I was dreading so much has happened.. I took more effort this time for the show, took greater care in picking the jewellery and everything.. Put more thought into what I should change into when normally I throw on jeans and a tee.. Haiz.. Oh well...

Im not angry.. Or frustrated.. Just disappointed and upset.. I know it can't be helped.. I do.. And I'm trying to understand.. I did pray afterall, that things go well for you after the change of environment and I guess I got to accept that these things tend to happen..

I gave it till the 8th...