Crushed

You know how it is when you feel one thing but you got to pretend to feel otherwise.. When all you feel inside is disappointment and dejection and you feel utterly useless but you got to pretend that you don't care at all.. When you feel your self confidence falling, falling so low, yet you got to make it seem as if you are not affected in the least.. All so that the people around you don't feel bad and don't resort to blaming themselves for the way things turned out... That horrible feeling of being stuck.. Of not being able to talk to anyone.. Not the family cuz you don't want to make them feel guilty.. Not the friends cuz you are afraid you may just let go and break down or end up having them feel sorry for you.. When you want to just run from it all.. When you decide to give up on everything cuz there doesn't seem to be anything worth holding on to.. It's like a flower trying to grow tall and strong but it can't cuz the other bigger plants are all blocking it from getting sufficient sunlight.. Eventually after fighting hard to survive, it resigns to it's fate and ends up wilting.. Nothing can revive it again..