Surfaces

You know what I cannot stand? I cannot stand superficiality.. I mean I know everyone is different and stuff and entitled to their own prefernces and opinions and sets of criteria when selecting their partners and stuff but sometimes they fail to realise that others have feelings that get hurt..

I'm going to say a few things from a girl's point of view.. I know there are girls who give looks preference too but right now, I'm just going to talk about guys for a bit.. I've seen guys who get to know a girl online, talk to her, call her and stuff and really like the person she is and make her feel like he likes her and is interested in her and she starts feeling good and excited about meeting up or starting something sweet together and then, he moves away after the first meeting or something like that because she isn't pretty enough or hot enough or up to his standards.. I mean if you liked her before, it must be because she was genuinely nice, isn't it? Because you guys clicked and could understand each other.. Isn't that more important? Isn't communication and understanding more important than what your friends think of her, or whether your mates think she is hot or whether she looks good in short skirts or dresses.. Isn't what's inside more important cuz end of the day, that's what's going to remain.. Looks change, appearances will be diferent over the years.. Hair grows white and weight is gained and stuff but isn't it more beautiful to know that the person you are with is the same person inside.. The same one you fell for?

I have friends who give appearances a lot of priority but in the end, if they meet someone genuine and true, who may not exactly be the hunk or babe they had envisioned and dreamt about, I have seen them embark on a relationship together because of the fact that they make each other happy.. Beacuse they know that they cannot find someone else who may make them smile as much or show that much care and affection.. I have also seen people reject someone because they felt that person wasn't good looking enough and later regret their decision when they see that person with someone else..

I don't understand why a guy would be with a girl whom he claims to love and check out her cousin in front of her and ask her if she ever felt insecure around her cousin cuz the cousin was so hot.. Or why a guy would sleep around while in a relationship with another girl because the other girl was hot and he couldn't help it, supposedly.. Shocking? Well, it's not something I came up with.. These things really happen.. I don't understand why we live in an age of surfaces now.. I have seen people so dear to me cry or feel the pain when a guy talks to them nicely and shows alot of interest and after the first meeting, he just vanishes.. He could have had the decency to at least tell her that he doesn't think it's going to work out.. What happens to the girl? She doesn't take it as a blessing in disguise that she didn't date someone shallow, instead, she starts feeling extremely insecure and worthless.. She stops seeing herself as the gem she really is and instead tries to shy away from other guys for fear of history repeating itself..She starts to shut herself away from meeting new people and keeps wondering constantly what she did wrong or in what way she fell short of his expectations.. And then she starts to pick on things about herself.. She doesn't realise that the flaw isn't in her but in the insecurity of the guy who finds it so important that he has someone with him whom his friends think highly of or consider hot.. It stems from his need to be admired and envied.. The feeling of being with someone like that is no paradise, trust me..


On the other hand there are so many people I have seen, whom my friends at times have given negative responses to based on first impressions and who turned out to be some of the nicest guys around.. And there are also some guys whom they have considered dashing and really good looking, who ended up cheating on them or hurting them..


I'm not trying to say that there is a fixed inverse relationship between good moral character and looks here.. There are so many blessed with both out there..All Im saying is that it's unfair to make a decision based solely on impressions and opinions... There are many other factors that are important as well, such as trust, communication, the way you make each other feel, the commitment, the sincerity, the affections and so on.. It's not what your partner is to others that matters, its' what she is to you that matters and how she makes you feel that makes all the difference..


However all this is only my opinion.. Others will differ, I know.. I don't want to seem like I'm violently against anyone or anything..


Why I wrote this? Cuz I'm so annoyed with someone for hurting someone precious to me.. Again... Aargh!