Events from the night

Yesterday seemed like such a whirlwind.. It's been so very very long since i felt such tight knots in my tummy and the sensation of a million butterflies flapping about.. Something i would never ever dream of doing. Till now, I cannot believe I did.. Knowing how shy and introverted I can be, to meet 2 really new people at once and depending on one of them whom i've met only once, for comfort.. These are moments when I don't think.. :) Oh well, but i suppose I have no regrets..

It was a pleasant night.. although I had my share of trauma as I walked into the pub, knowing for sure I'm about to emvbarrass myself somehow, the look of terror on my face when the food arrived and the horror when the conversation turned to world news. I wasn't bored or anything, cuz honestly they were really funny and witty and really down to earth. I was just so scared i'd embarrass myself or say something really stupid. So what do i do? Stare at the tv screen in front of me and watch golf. Brilliant move. He offered me wine, i flatly refused. Those who know me well would probably know why. *winkz* I didnt need another excuse to embarrass myself.

But the night was nice. He did consider how I was and made an effort to figure out if I was ok or not. So that was pretty nice of him and the fact that he insisted he put me in a cab although it was only like ten, was pretty sweet I think, considering the efforts the two of them took to get me a cab in the first place. :) Oh well, right now he probably thinks i'm an idiot and so I can expect things to die down. I wouldn't blame him.. I really screwed up. Oh well...

How do I feel about all this? Mixed emotions i suppose. I really don't know yet. He has been really nice and sweet the last two times and it is still a pretty bit early to tell. But as the days go by, knowin me, i'd start getting emotionally attached and then the pressure from my family isn't helping either. They are pretty eager to meet him and get us talking. But i'm scared. I'm really scared if he isn't interested. I'm scared to talk cuz of that one line he mentioned. It's building a wall around me that's refusing to fall apart. Oh well, got to go with the flow i suppose and try hard to not allow any feelings to get in the way cuz this may not last. I cannot count on it, cuz i'm definitely not making things any easier for him ...