Missing you..

I was just thinking about stuff.. Just random thoughts in my head.. Been feeling pretty miserable lately and was trying to figure out why and I guess now i have..

I think I'm missing my friends.. Alot.. I miss how things were during school days.. How everyday was something to look forward to.. How we stayed back almost everyday and survived on chips from the vending machine.. How almost everynight was a conference.. How we could laugh and laugh and laugh and not realise time passing...

Things seem so different now.. I miss them all so much.. I know I can always call and talk.. But everyone has things to do as well.. Everyone is either busy with other things or studying for their papers.. And I'm going through this whole period of confusion and stress and everything rolled up in one together.. So much of contradicting thoughts and opinions keep flooding my mind and I'm always emotionally affected by something or the other.. I just can't wait for it all to pass..

And I also realised why I haven't really called anyone.. I guess I'm afraid.. I'm so afraid to lose them.. School is over now.. Holidays approaching.. All going to start work and stuff.. Things will be different.. And I'm not looking forward to that.. I miss the 2 nuts from school so much and I can't even recall when was the last time I spoke to Mr. Montero.. There is so much I would like to say.. So much I wanna ask about.. So many things I have missed out on.. But I feel trapped..

I feel like perhaps things may be different for them as well.. All I really really want to do is just not have anything bothering anyone and all just go out for ice cream or something and crap as usual.. To be just able to spend time together like we used to.. To feel that carefree feeling and that light heartedness I used to feel in school.. To be there for that friend whom I know is struggling emotionally inside.. To let the other know that I'm still the same and nothing has changed for me .. Right now, I need them with me more than ever.. Haiz